4.29.2006

depressing things

I finished reading The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, last night. I'd been reading it sporadically for about a month, but last night it sucked me in and left me sleepless. To call it tragic is an understatement; it borders on being morose. When we read a story whose character has "sinned," we expect redemption or absolution to be a large part of the narrative. In this case, the quest for redemption is foiled again and again by outside forces and by the narrator's own humanity. By the end, I lost all hope of redemption, just like the narrator. It's remarkably written, especially for a debut novel. The prose is simple--even stark--when it needs to be and poetic when it should be. I've grown tired of figurative and flowery language (I'm guilty of it too), and Hosseini doesn't try to impress us with beautiful turns of phrase or images, yet somehow he still impresses. Read it.

A second depressing thing was Mysterious Skin, a film that I had checked out several times but never watched. I knew it would be odd, and I had not been able to force myself to watch it. Yesterday, I finally did. The only other time I've seen that much gay sex was when I popped in a friend's blank VHS and found out he was gay the hard way, no pun intended.

It's an engrossing film, really, about two boys growing up in the same Kansas town. One of the boys, Brian, is searching for the answer to why, when he was 8-years old, he blanked out for 5 hours and found himself in the basement closet with a bloody nose. He is convinced that he was abducted by aliens and subjected to tests, a belief he spends years trying to remember and prove. The other boy, Neil, is sexually exploited by his Little League coach the same summer, and that was the most difficult part to watch. The director did an excellent job of filming the molestation scenes; the coach--who remains nameless throughout--is so seductive that it's mesmerizing. Neil becomes a rather promiscuous and masochistic teenager who turns tricks in the small town and later in NYC. Joseph Gordon-Levitt played Neil, and what a captivating performance (left: screen shot from the film). I'm excited about what work he will be doing in the future based on the amazing job he did in this. He really put himself out there for this one, and it paid off.

I'm going to go ahead and ruin the story for you. It becomes painfully clear early on in the film that Neil and Brian have a connection, and we suspect long before the naive Brian does that he was molested by the coach as well and that Neil was there. In the final scene, they return to the house where he used to live and sit on the couch of the people who live there now, and Neil tells Brian everything that happened. Brian's nose begins to bleed, he cries, he screams, and Neil just holds him. It's a painful scene because Neil tells about how the coach used him as "bait" and to comfort Brian. If Neil played along, it made it that much easier for the coach to do things that I won't mention here (suffice to say, even I was uncomfortable). Painful doesn't begin to describe this, the second time I've used that phrase in this post. Told you it was about depressing things!

I won't recommend the film because I doubt many would be that interested in it. If you are, be warned that it is rough. The only nudity is male nudity from the rear, but it still manages to be sexually explicit.

With that, I'm going to go enjoy the cool, cloudy day. Cheers.

4.28.2006

loss

I just found out this morning that I'm losing one of my top students with only 16 days left in the school year. Major bummer.

yuck

There is a kid sitting in class popping zits. Openly. Disgustingly. Another one is walking up to the teacher with a burgeoning belly that will be bursting out a baby before Boxing Day. Well before it, actually, but I couldn't think of another holiday that starts with 'B.' Another has his head on the desk, just as he has every single day since the beginning of the year. Seriously, this kid has never been awake in this class. I don't mean he dozes off; I mean he comes in, puts his head down, and becomes very threatening if you try to wake him. It's become a class joke: see if you can leave the class without waking him. It worked once last year, according to teacher legend.

I am so bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. I'm going to bust some girls for listening to music. Busted, HA!

I am so bored...

4.27.2006

I'm fighting sleep like a drunk man fighting nausea: I'm going to lose.

rumors

One of my students approached me during class today and asked me if I'd heard about the Minutemen on the border shooting Mexicans. Of course I said no and followed it up with "Where did you hear this." A person who works closely with immigrants in Lexington had told a large group of students this yesterday, to what purpose I'm not sure. It makes me a little angry, really, because after searching the web for 1/2 an hour I could find absolutely nothing to substantiate the claim. So why tell the students horrible rumors? Is it a cautionary story meant to frighten them into being careful? If so, it's an awfully alienating and hate-mongering story and one that doesn't help an already nervous group of kids.

On the bright side... No, there's no bright side today. Not a bad day; just a blah day.

4.26.2006

family

I am so confused. How did I turn out like I did while my sister and cousins turned out so saintly and Jesus hippyish? More importantly, who do I thank for helping me be who I am?

sushi pictures!

At last, my connection at home is back up. I had to spend 30 minutes on the phone with Alltel (the girl was extremely nice and helpful) and run up and down the stairs unplugging and plugging in phones, but it's back. To commemorate the occasion, digital sushi for your digital consumption. In no particular order:

Knife and rolls. Duh.

A hodge-podge roll with masago and sesame seeds on the outside with Japanese cucumber, smoked salmon, caviar, and something else inside.

A sample platter of the nigiri that was left over for the follow up meal on Sunday. The deep red is tuna; the grey on the right is mackerel; the orange-pink is salmon; the red-tipped stuff is clam; and the light pink is himachi, yellow tail tuna.

Maxx collapses while we eat outside.

My own two hands rolling an unagi (eel) roll with various ingredients.

Tuna.

Mackerel. Fishy. Yech.

The roll part of the Saturday meal. We had, as I said, 25 rolls of various kinds. The one at the far left is topped with scallops. Our presentation was less than stellar, but we were rushed at the end.

Part of the nigiri-zushi portion of the Saturday meal. The unagi is at the top.

student quote of the day

I think this was meant to be complimentary. I think.

"Mr. C----- is the best teacher on the hole world." --J.P. trying his hand at sycophancy and failing.

You might be a teacher if...

You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin lick.

You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."

You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

When out in public you can feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

You can't have children of your own because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

--Courtesy of MSLF

4.25.2006

tuesdays with morning breath

Anyone want to help me teach graphing linear equations to students with 3rd-6th grade math skills? Anyone?

MSLF and I went to Jacobson Park with Maxx last night (no photos, unfortunately) and spent time running with him and lying in the freshly cut grass reading. There were only a few dark clouds in the sky, and the sunset was spectacular. It's times like those that I wouldn't mind being stuck in for all time. Maxx agrees.

I'm midway through Romeo and Juliet, keeping right with the other freshman classes. It's difficult to tell if my students are enjoying it or understanding it. Designing a good assessment of their comprehension requires that I also make it comprehensible to them at their particular language level. Because I have essentially two different levels in the class, I have yet to find one that is appropriate for both. It's also difficult to assign projects because 3/4 of the class can do it, but the others would be frustrated by the language skills required, as basic as they might be. Now, if I asked them to write down "Romeo is a boy" 100 times, they'd be right on it...

Aside: My colleague with whom I share a room was just talking about his good and bad classes, and I said "My 4th block and I are getting along a little better this week," and he laughed and said, "You say it like it's a relationship." It does sound funny, but it really is a relationship. I have an entirely different persona with my 2nd block than with my 4th block, although they're the same class/content. Odd.

Our back yard is looking good, I must say. We've got several things planted that are beginning to sprout and grow. We have 2 irises and 2 bleeding hearts planted, but only the irises have come up so far. I want the bleeding heart liberal to come up...

A good day to all.

4.24.2006

weekend update

Well, our internet connection at home is all wonky, so I'm going to post a little from here. Pictures of the amazing weekend will have to posted some other time, unfortunately.

Making sushi is a lot of prep work but a lot of fun. Here is a list of what all we (4 people) made:
  • 25 rolls -- Dragon roll, gim-bap (not sure of the spelling on that), nori-mushi (again, a guess), Philadelphia roll, hodge-podge roll, scallop and something else roll, and more that I can't remember.
  • About 40 pieces of nigiri-zushi, the fish on rice.
  • 14 "varieties" of seafood: canned tuna, tuna ham, tuna filet, yellowtail tuna, smoked salmon, salmon, scallops, clams, eel, shrimp, masago (generic roe), salmon roe, caviar, and imitation crab (I count it). We also had teriyaki chicken.
  • We made between 24 and 28 cups of rice over the course of Saturday and Sunday afternoons.
  • Looking at the "normal" prices at sushi restaurants, we figured we made about $500 worth of sushi for significantly less. We actually ended up having the makers back over yesterday to help us finish off about a dozen rolls, and we sent about 5 home with them (because we made more!) and I have it for lunch today! Oh, the humanity!

The Japanese movie we watched was cool. It was a romantic tragedy, so it wasn't exactly a feel-good film, but it was very well-produced and interesting.

If any of you have the opportunity, please watch Paradise Now (trailer). Heck, make an opportunity to watch it! It's about two would-be suicide bombers in Palestine, and it is agonizing to watch. Please, please, please watch it!

On an aside, what's with the abundance of neo-New Wave artists with one word names preceded by "The?" The Killers. The Editors. The Bravery. The Arctic Monkeys (I know, more than one word). Well, that's all I can think of, actually. The Rakes? Oh, and The Smiths (not new). Just a thought.

4.21.2006

opera cake

I'm not normally one to indulge in dessert. Wine, beer, bourbon, scotch, rum, Irish whiskey, ouzo, and tequila I will indulge in, but dessert has never been my thing.

Then I met the "opera cake." Do your mental palate a favor and skim the recipe/ingredients.

romeo y julieta

I've watched the first half of Luhrmann's version of the tragicomedy at least 4 times in the past 4 weeks, and I can't decide if I like his artistic interpretations as much as the verisimilitude presented by Zefirelli (sp?). Both have their visual merits, sure, but some of the former's result in story changes. I think some of my reluctance to embrace one over the other is my ongoing debate about the duty of films to be faithful to the original material. Peter Jackson, may he rot forever, certainly brought this to the forefront of everyone's mind, but I still haven't taken a side.

I really like John Leguizamo. He plays the part of Tybalt brilliantly. He was just killed as I watched/typed.

Bell is about to ring.

beauteous day

My room was invaded by an Eurasian Brat Pack this morning: three Russians, one Ukrainian, and an Albanian. Oh, the insanity. I was trying to sit here and enjoy my hazelnuccino while I read the news and various politblogs, but instead my gentle, if over-large, ears were cruelly assaulted by a barrage of Russian with a smattering of English throughout. It's Friday. Four weeks and two days left.

Food and film at our house tomorrow night, if you're up for the drive/flight. Nigiri-zushi, sashimi, sushi, miso soup, other delectables, gim-bap (that's a guess at the spelling), and good times. Y'all come on over!

4.20.2006

Did everyone have a funny at 4:20 on 4/20?

Yeah, some students reminded me that it's Int'l Pot Day, a holiday destined to be greater than Easter or Valentine's Day combined.

sketch of me

If I knew Picasso, I would buy a grey guitar and beat him. Quote, anyone?Mr. Picassohead

By the way, if you find an easy way to save them as JPEGs or something, let me know. I had to save it as a PDF then turn that into a JPEG and crop and all that crap. Hardly worth it, really.

4.19.2006

oh, unhappy day

What a tiring day. The whining of certain students has become tiresome to me, and today was a day of much whining.

During the morning testing, the freshmen (about 500 of them) went to see a production of Crowns by the Actors' Guild of Lexington. It was a rather boring show, actually, and it draaaaaagged on and on toward the end. The acoustics were quite bad and helped most of the ESL students doze off. I barely stayed awake myself. An interesting concept that went horribly awry after about 20 minutes.

lights out

Woke up to the lack of unnatural light and the overabundance of lightning. Candlelit semi-shower. Candlelit clothes choosing. Candlelit how-do-I-open-my-garage session. Candlelit all around. Of course MSLF worried about me and went home to see if I could get to school. So sweet! Naturally, I was already gone and she ended up getting the poodle's hopes up and then dashing them.

Last night our neighbor locked herself out of the house, and I spent the better part of 1/2 an hour trying to open it with old cards and things. My bruised ego was slightly mollified when it took the pro several minutes to get it open. Slightly.

4.18.2006

Well, that was fairly painless. What a load of dookie these tests are. To paraphrase myself, the standards around which they are built are nothing more than the wet nurse of incompetence. Gross image, isn't it?

4.17.2006

other entries of interest

  • biatagh: "A tenant in Ireland, in the Celtic times, who held his land on the tenure of providing hospitality for travelers." Isn't this a fascinating "occupation?" A home in exchange for providing a temporary home for others. I love it!
  • Abecedarians: "A branch of the Anabaptists...[who] held that all human knowledge was valueless, and therefore decline to learn ever the alphabet." A-B-C-darians. Unfortunately, we have remnants left over.

I've gotten midway into the "F's," and MSLF is laughing at me for reading a dictionary. It's not that dorky.

Yes it is.

testing

Today begins our state testing, and I will try to contain my excitement as I relate the thrills and chills that accompany this wonderful time. I'm proctoring the exam for the 9th grade ESL students who have not been enrolled in a US school for one full year, and my roster makes me shudder a little bit. Not only do I have a less than stellar group, but I also have no clue what I'm doing. The training has been pretty sketchy, the handouts confusing, and my enthusiasm about as low as a snake's belly in a wagon rut (don't ask where that came from). Oh, well.

A decent weekend is behind me. Hung out with friends, installed a prison-strength spotlight on the back of the house, watched The Squid and the Whale (or was that earlier?), and learned some fascinating little facts about history. Last year I took a to-be-discarded book from Bryan Station's library, a battered old book called The Dictionary of Historical Allusions. It's a reprint of the 1904 edition and hasn't been updated to include such recent events as the Boxer Rebellion or World War I. It's a real gem, actually, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading the A's and B's yesterday, the ultimate sign of dorkiness. Aside from the historical facts of which it informs, it is equally fascinating for the insight it provides into the attitude, society, and politics of the author's time. The format of the dictionary is actually more like that of a book of phrases/encyclopedia.
  • Camel-driver of Mecca: "A nickname for Mohammed." This wasn't the only disparaging entry about "Mohammedans," as he calls them, and most of them revolved around the idea of Western vs. Mohammedan.

More later; testing begins.

4.15.2006

beautiful day

It's a beautiful day outside, though it promises to be muggy and hotter than an April day should be. Kentucky weather seems to follow Monty Python's seasonal changes, changing directly from winter to summer then giving fall a miss and heading back into winter. Ridiculous.

And on this beauteous day, the thing that tickles my fancy most is the notion of going out to despicable, hated Asbury and playing wallyball. However, my teammate has a conference to go to all day, so Maxx and I are stuck with each other. Of course, he interrupted my writing of that last sentence to demand I pick him up and put him on my lap.

4.13.2006

south park

This is a great quote from a critic of South Park. If you did not see last week's and this week's episodes about the censoring of an image of the Prophet, I recommend you find it (it's readily available on Torrentspy).

A frequent "South Park" critic, William Donohue of the anti-defamation group Catholic League, called on Parker and Stone to resign out of principle for being censored.

"The ultimate hypocrite is not Comedy Central -- that's their decision not to show the image of Mohammed or not -- it's Parker and Stone," he said. "Like little whores, they'll sit there and grab the bucks. They'll sit there and they'll whine and they'll take their shot at Jesus. That's their stock in trade." CNN

On a different note, I watched the Chronicles of Narnia and was utterly underwhelmed. I went in with high expectations, despite my distaste for the novels, and was amazed at the poor quality of the special effects and script. It ranked down there with The Two Towers and... It was really bad! Did anyone else see it and like it? Am I the only one who thought it was bollocks?


aargh

I'm one Spanish-word away from having a breakdown. My Hispanic students will not speak English today! I've sent a Russian and a Mexican student out today, and 3 other Latino students are about to follow! The Russian student is incredibly angry with me about it, but the student is pretty "bi-polar" anyway and will bounce back soon. Too soon...

4.12.2006

new urbanism

I heard a bit of a report on NPR today about "new urbanism," a movement which sounds fascinating. Not long after Katrina hit NO, I heard speculation about how to begin rebuilding the city, and I recall hearing something about creating "small communities" that could essentially be insular. I love the notion.

quasi-semi-pseudo-science v. prayer

This made the cynic in me chuckle a little bit.

"Tried talking to Jesus, but he just put me on hold
Said he'd been swamped by calls this week, and he could not shake his cold."
--Colin Hayes, "Beautiful World"
Now I remember why I hate Oprah...

Oprah Winfrey is a rich woman – and she's got no problem with that. Speaking in Baltimore on Monday at a fundraiser for Beth Tfiloh Dahan Community School, Winfrey told the audience, "I have lots of things, like all these Manolo Blahniks. I have all that and I think it's great. I'm not one of those people like, 'Well, we must renounce ourselves.' No, I have a closet full of shoes and it's a good thing." Winfrey, 52, who is reportedly worth more than $1 billion, said she doesn't feel guilty about her wealth. "I was coming back from Africa on one of my trips," she said. "I had taken one of my wealthy friends with me. She said, 'Don't you just feel guilty? Don't you just feel terrible?' I said, 'No, I don't. I do not know how me being destitute is going to help them.' Then I said when we got home, 'I'm going home to sleep on my Pratesi sheets right now and I'll feel good about it.' "


Among other reasons, of course.

4.11.2006

flickr

Just in case anyone is interested, I have added some photos to my Flickr site that can only be viewed by people labeled as "Friends/Family." If you're at all interested, create a free account, look up "dwain," request to be a "friend, and open up a world of narcissism. Seriously. My special lady friend doesn't like me to post pics (I sneaked 2 in), so most of them are of... me. Is this too narcissistic?

A preview.

Doesn't the snowman look like the Professor from the Muppets?

Cheers, all!

4.10.2006

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy...

A belated HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!! One year of unfulfilling and meaningless blogging: who could ask for anything more?

lark news

Kudos to Laura for pointing me toward Lark News. This has been one of my favorite pieces so far, closely followed by the "Youth groups forget meanings of names."

Q: Dear Missionary,

Help! I took a short-term missions trip to Honduras and really bonded with the people. But one of the boys tracked me down when I got home and wants to marry me and live with my family while he attends college! He has called me several times to tell me I am his family's "angel."
What do I do? What if he comes to visit me? My parents and I are freaked out!

Amy, 19, Memphis, Tenn.


A: Dear Amy,

What a wonderful experience you must have had! Too bad you contracted a bad case of "native-itis." But it can be remedied — with some tough love.

Get out your favorite pen and write a letter to this over-zealous youngster — using a fake return address, of course. Explain that, as admirable as you find his little dreams of a better life, you are not responsible to help him. Be clear: You are an American. He, by chance, is not. You owe him nothing beyond that week of intense bonding and camaraderie you shared in the jungle. If this boy and his family had any manners at all they would say, "Thank you for building the cinderblock church sanctuary for us." And then they would leave you alone.

You see, many non-Americans don't understand that Americans have our own "issues" to deal with, like rising home equity rates, credit card bills, gift shopping at crowded malls — the list goes on. They see us on missions trips and assume charity work is all we do! If only it could be so.

If your letter doesn't work, and his unwanted advances continue, send him the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud, which is available in Spanish. I assume the poor fellow can read. But do NOT send money, or you will attract not only him, but many of his cousins, like cats to a saucer of milk on the back porch. As a last resort, consider that you live in Tennessee which has a liberal concealed weapon law, if this makes you feel safer.

Good luck and God bless.
And that, my friends, is brilliant.

blessed monday

I wish every Monday held as much promise as today. I only have 4 students in my 2nd block, 5 in my 3rd, and 3 in my 4th. There are immigration reform protests going on in Lexington today, and a couple of social workers who work with our students encouraged them to attend. Now, do I believe that most of the absent students are downtown waving flags and protesting, exercising civil rights and working for a better future for themselves? No. Regardless, I get a slow Monday that I needed.

Had an amazing meal last night. Meijer was having a sale on leg of lamb, so I bought one, marinated it in olive oil and rosemary, and grilled it to perfection. Delectable. I only remember having had lamb once before, and that recipe was scrumptious, too. This, though, was amazing. Of course, the process of butterflying it was quite taxing. I ended up using 3 knives, dulled 2 of them, and removed about 1 lb. of fat. The bone was hard as heck to remove, but it left a really cool "tunnel" that will be stuffed with herbs the next time it's on sale.

Our back yard looks awesome. Bragging and pictures to follow.

4.08.2006

movie recommendations

Some movie recommendations: Capote, Memory of a Killer, V for Vendetta, The Girl in the Cafe.

4.06.2006

returned for #250

time flies