This made me sad. The hard, jagged lines seem exaggerated against the backdrop of this beautiful jaguar. We're used to seeing pictures of animals against majestic jungles and savannahs, and here we have metal against the majestic spotting of a cat. What a paradoxical creation!

This requires no caption.

Mi took this, and it's brilliant!

I thought the contrast in this shot was...interesting.

back

We're back, loaded down with crap, and busy as beavers (I think I heard that somewhere). The new car was magnificent to drive, surpassed only slightly by the beautiful, flaming trees. I've never seen a "picturesque" fall, but I'm thoroughly enjoying this one!

I have no clue how to put these pictures up without making them individual posts or taking 3 hours out of my life, so I'm going to do it the lazy, ugly way. My apologies, and someone please tell me how to do it without having to fight with formatting!

polluters

I found this article about the worst polluters funny. Silly Canuks.

second observation

What is it about being evaluated that is terrifying? I know I'm good at what I do, but knowing that someone is going to evaluate how I do my job gives me cramps. Perhaps it's the power that they have to terminate my employment, but shouldn't I be equally glad that I get to show off my abilities? Maybe that's how I'll start looking at it: "Today I'm going to show you how damned lucky you are to have me as a teacher at your school!"

I've been struggling with long-suppressed prejudices recently. It's difficult not to make generalizations about a people group when you're surrounded by them and therefore see all problematic behaviour through the lense of race. I know that it's ludicrous, and I don't think I'm the only one who struggles to be more objective in our critique of behaviour. I think that sensitivity to racial issues is so ingrained in Estadounidenses (English doesn't have a good word for "someone from the United States," so I'll use the Spanish word) that it is the first lense through which we look at a situation like immigration, crime, poverty, etc. Instead of considering the many factors which combine to spawn such situations, we tend to jump immediately to race as a cause. I think that Estadounidenses have a hard time viewing multifaceted issues; we always think black and white (literally, sometimes). Anyway, I've been struggling to draw myself out of the race fray and to approach the problems I'm encountering in the classroom with a more personal, cultural, and economic slant. Wish me luck!

Miah painted a series of tree paintings (I believe she called the series "As Seen Through a Tent") a few months ago, and this is one of my favorites. The picture doesn't do the color justice, so I may repost a better one. The inspiration came from a sunny siesta we took in our tent several months or longer ago. Leaves blocked most of the sunlight that would otherwise have beat down on us, but the price they paid was to be set ablaze in brilliant greens and yellows, an incredible sight that really impacted Mi. This particular painting was one of the ones in the Guignol gallery at UK.
This is our bedroom as seen by an ant. My hand served as a tripod, and yes, those are my fingers intruding. Maxx is quite intrigued by the ant, so much so that the next picture the ant took is of Maxx exploring his own nether regions. You can take the crotch out of the dog, but you can't take the dog out of his crotch... Holy cow, I must copyright that!

cynic

I heard a comedian, Mario Digiorgio, on a morning show recently, and I confess that I laughed more than I should have while driving. What got to me most was his brilliant book entitled A Cynic’s Guide to a Rich and Full Life. As you may know, I’m a devout cynic, and this was right down my alley.

links

Be sure to check out my new links, dwain! Some of them are cool!

Here's Maxx speeding like mad around the flowerbed from his peephole into Tyson's domain. He practically has a circuit worn in the grass!

boring list

Tuesdays are proof positive that Europeans are stupid people. If we had any sort of sense whatsoever, we would realize that Tuesday needs to be a day off to recover from the trauma of Monday.

I had a little, insignificant moment yesterday which I wish to share with my audience of Self. It was one of those moments that is wholly surreal and deserves a greater word than “moment” or “incident,” but I can’t supply one right now. Let me know if you can think of one. Regardless, I was driving home from work after a relatively long day when I happened to turn to NPR, that haven of drab-voiced folks, and heard a critic’s review of Sigur Ros’s latest album, Takk. It was nothing, but it was a perfectly serendipitous moment which wrapped up an otherwise unremarkable day. “Milano” is my favorite track.

You know, I’m going to name some other groups/songs which have brought moments of delight to my life recently.

• The Bravery’s “Honest Mistake” is more 80s than any of The Killers’.
  
• Death Cab for Cutie, though only a couple of their tunes such as “A Lack of Color.”
  
• Delerium’s “Flowers Become Screens” is ominously fun.
  
• I absolutely adore Longview’s “I Would.” It has extremely sappy lyrics sans the sappy music that has become the style du jour.
  
• Porcupine Tree are more than a little odd, but “Daylight” is fun.
  
• The Postal Service’s “We Will Become Silhouettes” was so cool until I heard it on a car commercial recently.
  
• Starsailor has been of some interest, though quickly waning.
  
• A repeat: Robert Plant and the Strange Sensation have become a staple of my daily listening."Dancing in Heaven" is my favorite.
  

Okay, the poodle is barking like mad at the neighbor’s dog, Tyson. Tyson is an 80 lb. dog who’s Maxx’s best friend after Miah. All we have to do is say “Tyson” and Maxx tears like mad through the house to the back door. We actually have a bare patch of grass where he’s established his superiority by kicking grass in the air, a ritual akin to men thinking that putting a round ball through a circle is a sign of masculinity.

Geez, he’s scratching at me. Okay, bud, I’m co…. Jerk.

ketchup

It’s been many days since I last posted, though I’ve considered it many times. I have actually begun to feel guilty for blogging despite how little time I actually dedicate to it. There’s always “something better to do,” but if I always did what was “better,” my life would be as droll as… Well, it would be as droll as my life!

A cursory review of some of the fun things that have happened:

• Had a night out with 2 French girls, a Mexican couple, and a balding American (the white variety, not the native kind) who is in the same program I had the misfortune of graduating from. It was a blast after all was said and spent, beginning with a delayed meal at Clamato’s, the most ill-named restaurant that of course specializes in seafood. The STD associations almost scream out themselves. In typical fashion we ate 1 ½ after we were supposed to because we were waiting for the Mexican couple. Mi would have a fascinating term for the difference in time-valuation from Latino culture to Yank culture, but I call it “hora Latina.” To top off the multicultural night we went to Kitty O’Shea’s, the most inauthentic Irish bar in the Bluegrass, and listened to crappy music and drank cheap rum. It was quite empty when we got there at about 11, but by 1:30, when we left, I couldn’t take a step without violating or being violated by someone’s unmentionables, burnt by some drunken sod with a Swisher Sweet, or spilling some half-naked broad’s drink down her exposed cleavage and all over my own weather-appropriate jacket. It was a fascinating venture into the world of college partying which I never dabbled in because I had no interest in it. A more homogenous group would be difficult to find, unless you went down the street to a bar whose atmosphere and clientele would be exact facsimiles of Kitty’s and Two-Keys and A-1 and Bananas and… Girls with goose bumped thighs despite the rushing warmth of the vodka peddled their flesh to guys with hair immaculately ruffled, a carefully calculated tousle meant to project disregard for appearances and the rules. The girls danced with the girls, the guys stood back and leered over their plastic beer glasses. The lust was almost palpable. We got home at 2 o’clock and both collapsed from physical and emotional exhaustion. It’s difficult to see that much desperation.


• On Saturday we went to visit some friends who live in a nearby town whose cornerstone is my abortive alma mater. We walked from their pad to the institution’s sports complex to play wallyball, and our meandering took us right through the middle of campus. I really wish I could describe sans vulgarities the revulsion and hatred that I feel for that place, but I can’t. So I won’t. Wallyball was fun, racquetballs was deadly fun, and Sam and I beat out the ladies at Euchre.


• Yesterday was a somewhat more productive day, though only slightly. One of my oldest friends (isn’t it sad when 7 years is oldest?) came over with his wife and child and we chewed the fat and drank good drinks. The centerpiece of our conversation became Lost, an addictive game which I’m certain many evangelicals will soon deem evil. Anyway, it was fun.


• Yesterday also brought a beautiful thing into our garage: 4 x 16 feet of chopped firewood, quickly followed by a roaring fire and the smell of smoke filling the house (in the good way). Bloody brilliant!


• Today went well, or at least relatively well, at school as my ESL I classes began the dive into a serious study of grammar. No more simple mimicry; we’re going to understand what we’re saying and why! Parts of speech was the focus today (defining them), and tomorrow will see us beginning the tricky task of learning the sentence patterns of English. There are only about 5 of them, but they require an enormous amount of background work before they make any sense. Oh, and we’re simultaneously working on memorizing the irregular verbs. There are way too many of them damn things!

I think that does semi-justice to a few of the moments which made me think, “I need to blog this.”

Oh oh oh oh oh! One more! Last week, during my observation, one of my students responded to a foto of a Bolivian girl that I was showing, “There are Mexicans in Bolivia?” The silence that followed and the blush that came across his face when he saw us all staring at him was almost enough humiliation, but I had to kick him while he was down: I hung my head, covered my eyes, and said, “There is such a thing as a stupid question.”

fighting foodons

it would be remiss of me not to post the link to what became one of my favorite cartoons ever, the "Fighting Foodons." The link is to a hi-fi opening credits sequence. Be sure to check out the sound, too!

duck duck goose

So I survived my first official observation unscathed and with no bullet hole, self-inflicted nor other. I won’t say that it was fun, but the students behaved and worked, all that I could really hope for. Of course, I only got though about ¾ of my lesson plan, but that’s better than finishing it and having 20 minutes left to fill. “Duck, Duck, Goose,” anyone?

Education is a joke. Not all children will succeed, not all children can succeed in the sense of the word as defined by bureaucratic nincompoops, and many children will be left behind, some by choice. It is a right, but it is not a requirement that we exercise our rights. For example, I’m not going to bear arms. I’m torn on the issue of mandatory attendance/schooling. Why should teachers be held accountable for the students who willingly choose to not learn? We’re not miracle workers (“001 011 001,” for your Family Guy fans).

Johnny Walker agrees with me, so we’re going to go chat on our new loveseat. Wouldn’t it make more sense for the couch to be the loveseat? I mean, really, I can’t imagine getting frisky on a loveseat is nearly as comfortable as getting frisky on a couch. Umm, that was Mr. Walker talking. Bad Mr. Walker!

building as we go

One of my favorite Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison photos. I'm about to go to bed with most of my lesson left unplanned, and I feel like I'm at the end of my private-dock wondering where to go next. I'm tired of being evaluated and assessed (semantics). I just want to live my life, build my bridge, and burn it down one day. There's a lot to be said for burning bridges, I think.

Tonight I finished watching one of my favorite films, The 13th Warrior, a film which always moves me for some reason. The stoicism and quiet dignity that the characters embody are refreshing amid emotion-driven films. The fatalism of the North has always been attractive to me, and there are few enough films which portray that attitude in our America of hope. American Beauty was cynical, not fatalistic; 28 Days Later was misanthropic and somewhat fatalistic; I'm spit-balling for others. Regardless, 13th Warrior is warm in its fatalism, inspirational despite its tragedy, and it was filmed in freaking B.C.!

This is Louis the albino alligator. I think his name is Louis. Maybe it's King Louis... Isn't that the name of the orangutan (sp?) in The Jungle Book film?

hakuna matata education

I begin my first cycle of observations for my internship on Wednesday (I know that that’s a dangling modifier or some such syntactical error), and I’m quite frightened. For one, I’m not trained to teach ELLs, and beyond that I’m not the greatest organizer in the world. This internship would try the most devout pencil-pusher in the world. I think it’s a sign of superfluous paperwork when one shelf in my office is dedicated solely to binders full of poo. No, not literal poo, though don’t think I haven’t thought of it. Try explaining that last sentence to an ELL (English Language Leaner, by the by).

Mi made a great point in a reflective paper she wrote this past weekend: education is stuck in the past. We (educators) continually strive to improve student learning (not to be confused with achievement) within the confines of an educational system whose goals are based on the paradigms of bygone pedagogy. I don’t understand how education can have become as trancado in its ways as it has, and I see little hope for its future. Of course, I don’t have answers as to where it should be heading, but I do know that we’re basing our future on recreating our past (“tradition” is a dominant theme), a failure in the making. I have a much less idealistic notion of how great of an impact education will have on society, either micro or macrocosmically, than do many of the policy-makers who are directing the future of education. I believe that there are certain roles, strata, caste levels, whatever you choose to call them, which will forever exist despite anyone’s push for egalitarianism. I’m not saying that this stratification is good, but I do wonder if it can or should be abolished. I don’t know. Of course everyone deserves an education, but that education does not guarantee that a student will be able to move upward within the social strata, so why do we aggrandize education into something that it’s not? Let’s face it: someone will always be washing cars, cooking meals, cleaning plates, and emptying our trash cans. I don’t mean to sound clichéd or callous, but every cog in the system is equally important as the other, no matter that one may be made of gold and another steel (horrible metaphor, but you understand). This is an issue that arises often when talking about the function of illegal immigrants in the US, especially Hispanic immigrants. As malicious as the public is about the legality and morality of the immigrants, the system would quickly unravel if they were suddenly withdrawn from it. It would also require a complete reworking of our socioeconomic ideology to have White people doing all of the “menial” tasks which have become the gateway for so many immigrants; there’s a certain pride that has developed among White suburbanites who have their white collar jobs only because someone of a less corporate color has taken the blue collar job, a pride which would make the “fall” all that much harder.

Okay, I’m procrastinating. Back to writing a formal lesson plan.

Maxx worships at the feet of the Green Man.

Autumn in her flaming dress
Of orange, brown, gold fallen leaves
My mistress of the frigid night
I worship pray to on my knees

My first Type O Negative reference! I'm so proud of myself for having held off for as long as I have... Oh, wait. I mentioned Peter Steele months ago. Darnit!

faith of the fallen

Interesting. Came across this on a friend's blog a few months ago and forgot about it, but recent interactions with teens brought it back to mind. We had a "motivational speaker" at school last week who crossed a legal line by ending his mindless speech with "Jesus isn't a curse word; he's my savior." I expected a stunned silence, but a smattering of applause turned into a fest of catcalls and cheering. Hence, this:

The way that so many kids in America are Christian -- and a vast majority are -- is disturbing. Their Christianity is so nebulous, so watered down, that Smith calls their religion ‘Moralistic Therapeutic Deism.’ That is, they believe in God, they believe God wants us to be ‘good people’ and to make ‘good choices,’ and they believe that God is available to answer them or help them out when they need him. Other than that, they can articulate exactly nothing distinctive about the Christian faith. Tony Jones paraphrasing a study by Christian Smith

By the way, I love camping.

damn hippies...

What a fiasco-plagued trip. The gasket on our stove’s pump was totally kaput, dashing all of our meal plans for the weekend. There wasn’t a dry piece of wood to be found, and no piece of wood larger than my forearm (that’s quite small). Mi slipped and fell, bruising her fanny and arms. I dropped my water bottle and walked for ¼ of a mile before we noticed. Something else happened… Oh, well, you get the gist of it.

Don’t think that it wasn’t fun—it was bloody wonderful!—but it definitely did not go as planned. I’ll be posting some fotos that I took for weeks to come. There’s something infinitely peaceful about camping out in BFE. However, I consider the notion of camping to be a vain and insensate attempt at recreating the joy of being in tune with nature. First of all, it’s not recreating anything because people who lived in nature in the way that “campers” do were focused more on survival than on achieving some puerile pleasure. Also, we talk about “rustic camping,” meaning we have to walk to the camping site—there’s a site where we sleep, for Pete’s sake!—and take a little stove and dehydrated food. Oh, and we use matches, no lighter fluid. How “rustic” is that? That’s how people lived, not how the passed the time! Everything about modern camping is synthetic, an abominable marriage of modernism with a faux nostalgia for the “simpler days” which were not in the least simple.

Good times, though. I just despise the dissembling attitude behind the whole shebang. Did I mention the tent? The sleeping pads? The sleeping bags?

walk on the wilderness side

We’re going camping for the first time in over a year!! We’ve wanted to for ages, but there always seems to be “something else” to do, something infinitely less satisfying but also easier than heading out.

The weather is supposed to be perfect (although the low of 43 on Saturday night has me shivering already), and the poodle is as excited as can be about “going for a ride in the car!” We’re heading out to a spot about 2 miles from Rock Bridge in the Red River Gorge, and though I’m not jumping up and down about the “strenuous hike,” I’m ecstatic about hanging out for 3 days by 2 beautiful streams which meet right where we settle.

Okay, I need to go help Mi pack.

not-so-little-foot

I seem to be stepping on religious toes recently no matter how carefully I try to tread. I suppose I could stand perfectly still where I am and not step on anyone, but I don’t think that I could actually do that about religion. Certain issues I am willing to either ignore or skirt in my wandering, issues like abortion, though I’d say that I’m circling it more than skirting it. I must include a snippet of a “conversation” I’ve been having sporadically for a few weeks:

If you want to be miserable than fine, but dont go and rub it off on others. Finally, if you wanna go to hell fine, but don't drag others down with you okay [sic].

This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m going to go have a glass of scotch. Now that’s something that makes you feel warm inside!

How many freakin’ Land Before Times are there?

101!

this wasn't going to be a special post until i realized that it's my 101st! i'd like to dedicate this post to all the people who have stuck with us through all the $#@!ing s%$#. and to all of those opposed... well... (okay, i have no idea why i put that because it's really a rather stupid Guns 'n Roses snippet, but it just felt right. having read it, though, it's totally wrong.)

the original reason for getting on here was to sing the praises of Crash, one of the best movies i've seen in quite some time. it's the first film to have brought tears to my eyes in quite some time, too. it's going to take me a while to process, but it's definitely a film i'm going to revisit many times, perhaps even in the classroom. movies that deal with race in original and raw ways are rare, and when one does emerge from the quickly expanding Holly-library of race movies, it's a pleasure and a pain to watch. American History X is an example of such a film. i rarely watch it because of how indescribably painful it is in its study of racism, but each time i do i'm enraged and broken by how real it is. if you haven't seen it, please go and rent it!

okay, i'm going to wrap up 101 and go find a happy place by watching something fun. Ong-Bak, perhaps.

not only am i the president, i'm also a member!

for those of you who know me, i present to you a few links to sites which have really snatched my attention. take them in the good humor with which they are shared.

The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic: at least check out their motto

The Skeptic's Annotated Bible: this is a great reference tool, and it hates everyone equally, including the Q'ran and the Book of Mormon

Schools of Feminist Thought: this isn't humorous at all, actually, but is rather interesting and informative

Insult Monger: bloody brilliant you miserably offensive barbarian and deplorable, simple-minded mass of neuroses and complexes.

and though i have about 145 more, i'm going to stop because i'm as bored by this as you are. more, actually.

children are ruining our future

A friend of mine who went through the same master’s (I never know if that requires an apostrophe or not) program as I did and who got a job at the school where I did my student teaching sent me a very discouraged and heartbreaking email today.

I have one class that makes me cry (not in front of them of course) everyday.

Knowing this woman and knowing how good of a teacher she is makes this all the harder to hear. The school was definitely rough, but I survived the maelstrom and consider myself that much stronger of a teacher because of it. My heart goes out to her.

They are actually plotting against me (there's a ring leader and all who is in charge of the plot).  Its crazy and I'm getting ready to quit!!!  But other than that, everything is good :) 

C’mon! This is ridiculous! When a teacher is so disempowered by the school that there’s crap like this going on, there’s a problem. I was speaking with someone at the “It’s About Kids Support Services” office today (I will not get started on that bullshit moniker today) earlier about how flawed the system has become in the past decades. I don’t know exactly when teachers lost their authority, but it’s gone. Some of the above situation may be my friend’s personality and exceptionally bad students, but I also know the discipline problems are endemic from my own experience there. We were actively discouraged from writing referrals for students, while at my new school I was told by a principal to “keep ‘em comin’!” I’m not saying that referrals address the issues (far from it), but principals are the closest thing to an actual authority figure that there is in a school.

I am definitely regretting going into education.

How bad is it if we feel jaded after such a short amount of time? I know that teachers with more experience will say that this is the rough part, but how indicative of the poor state of the system is it that we’re so quickly turned off from our career! I’m astounded by all of this. I spent the last 6 years of my life preparing to do what I’m doing, and I can’t imagine doing this for much longer!

Roses aren't the only manifestation of red in nature, and they're definitely not the only beautiful example.

The betta is Rojo (this must be pronounced with the appropriate "gringo," drawled R and the explosive J of Joe) and the pepper is digested. Funny story: Miah sent me to the Farmers' Market for peppers to make pepper soup, and.... and I just realized that I may have already told this story. Did I? You know, on second thought, I'm not even sure that pepper goes with that sweater. Screw it, I'll take both. For the 1 of you that got that reference, thank you. Anyway, long story short, I ended up buying 50 peppers: 4 to freeze for stir-fry; 1 for eating now; 2 to give away; 1 to throw away; and 42 to broil/roast/grill and freeze. Oh, and 2 of the roasted are now sitting in olive oil along with some garlic and chives. Mmmm, olive oil...

who, i ask you

who has the fortitude and maturity not to chuckle just a little bit when reading about this horrible tragedy. i know that it's my cultural-linguistic lense that is making me find even an ounce of humor in this, but i just can't help it. maybe it's because of how early it is. maybe it's because of how late i stayed up. maybe it's because i've been around teenagers too much recently. regardless, i chuckled. i apologize for the weird formatting, but i'm not sure how to make it more readable.

BEIJING, China (AP) -- China said 59 of its soldiers were washed awayby
raging floodwaters sparked by Typhoon Longwang, and the country's president has
called for an all-out search, state media have reported...Longwang, which means
"Dragon King" in Chinese, lashed the island of Taiwan on Sunday before hitting
the mainland. CNN.com

i spoke briefly with 2 of the other new teachers here at LHS, and they're seriously reconsidering whether or not they'll return next year. one of them is actually reconsidering her career choice and is considering doctoral work! i don't know if i have the heart to tell her about the placement rate of people with doctorates. crap, now i'm thinking about it...

garfield

The tubby cat is not funny all that often, but I agree wholeheartedly with his hatred of Mondays. There's something disheartening about the day, and bad things happen (like using two words with the word "heart" in them that closely together) that only make it worse. Please let me get through this day...

Not much happened this weekend to speak of with the exception of purchasing 50 red bell peppers. About 40 of them were roasted, peeled, and frozen last night, and I can't wait to make a tasty soup out of them! Mmmmm, roasted red pepper soup...

Heheh, an Australian journalist was quoted on CNN.com as saying "chock-a-block." The day is looking up! Now if only half of my students would be absent...