go west

I always liked the Pet Shop Boys' version of that phrase... Of course, my adolescent mind thought it was funny to belt out "Go west (Sex there is the best)/ Go west (Where women have big...)." You get the picture.

Taking a break from this to visit fam and friends. Happiest of new years to all.

fantasy and science fiction according to Jordan

I’m including a lengthy passage from Robert Jordan’s blog. For those of you fortunate enough to be unfamiliar with him, he’s the author of what is arguably the most successful ongoing series in fantasy right now, The Wheel of Time. I say it is unfortunate to know of him only because I’m frustrated with the series and have been for about the past 6 years. But, like any good habit, I keep coming back to it religiously. I say that he’s the most successful author in fantasy right now, but I would like to emphasize that this is not synonymous with being the best author, not by a long shot.

The passage I’m including talks about the current state of fantasy and science fiction, and I think he has some interesting things to say about it. This will probably not be interesting to anyone other than myself, so feel free to ignore this post and let me ramble on about it.

The reason for the popularity of fantasy, and the reason science fiction is fading in comparison, is quite simple, really. Increasingly in books and films, including science fiction but also in everything from mysteries to so-called "main stream literary" novels, the lines between right and wrong have become blurred. Good and evil are more and more portrayed as two sides of the same coin. This is called realism. People by and large want to believe that there is a clear cut right and wrong, though, and that good and evil depend on more than how you look in the mirror or whether you're squinting when you do. In fantasy, you can talk about good and evil, right and wrong, with a straight face and no need to elbow anybody in the ribs to let them know you're just kidding, you don't really believe in this childish, simplistic baloney. That seems to be less and less so in other genres.

Does that mean fantasy all has to be goody-goody on the side of right and black-as-the-pit on the side of evil. No. In my own work telling right from wrong is often difficult. Sometimes my characters make the wrong choice there. Sometimes they do things are quite horrific. But they try to find the right choice. This is the way I think most people see the world and their behavior in it -- trying to do the right thing with the knowledge that sometimes you're going to make the wrong choice, and with "right" defined as more than simply being of benefit to yourself -- and they want to read books that reflect this. Right and wrong are not simply different shades of gray. Good and evil are not simply a matter of how you look at them. (Have you ever noticed the use of "of course?' As in, "The actions of the suicide bombers is quite horrific, of course...." You know that a "but" is coming, followed by an explanation of why their actions. while "quite horrific. of course" are also "entirely understandable under the circumstances," which come down to "the death and destruction is all somebody else's fault completely.")

As the view of the world, as expressed by the evening news and most books, has increasingly become that everything is really just shades of gray, people have grown more and more to want something that says choosing right from wrong may be difficult, seeing what is evil might be hard, but it is not only worth making the effort, it is possible if you try. Maybe not every time, but most of the time by and large. And that is the heart of the popularity of fantasy, and why it has grown. I suspect that somebody has a doctorate in the waiting simply by showing a correlation between the increase in popularity of fantasy on one hand and, on the other, the increase on the evening news and in most literature of the view that right and wrong, good and evil, are just matters of where you stand and how you're holding your head at the moment.

My comments to this will follow later; I wanted to get this pasted before it disappeared.

xmas

Happy Mithras day! Happy winter solstice! Happy Saturnalia!

sunrise

Let the healing of mind, body, and spirit begin.

algebra

So some of the brainiac kids are making my test look easy, while some of the less adept students are struggling more than they should, while the mediocre are being...mediocre. It's sad, but several teachers told me to make long tests not for assessment purposes but for management purposes. I think that when a teacher begins to scrabble to take up time, the authenticity of the assessment can't help but be sacrificed, at least partially.

A creative writing class next door is having a final, but I think it's a "read my crappy story aloud" final. And I'm pretty sure that I just heard the MF-bomb float through the door that connects our rooms...

Back to assessment: how genuine can an assessment of math skills be in this setting. Why aren't these kids at a grocery store or construction site being assessed? They need to be given real-world situations, but not real-world assessment on paper! Defeats the purpose, you see? Imagine the impact it would have if students were given actual problems faced by construction people (to continue the example) and expected to solve it using the methods they have learned. There are real stakes, and since educators are constantly being told that students will respond when we "raise the stakes," let's actually do it! I have to say that one thing that my TEP taught me was that university educators are completely out of touch with the reality of the student psyche. My director was continually saying that we had to raise the stakes for students, but when it came down to specific methods for doing so, the well ran dry. The same old ideas are being recycled and "revamped," but few of the ideas are taking into account the bleak reality of public education. Sweeping social changes have found their way into the schools, but the school system hasn't accommodated and adapted accordingly.

If this kid asks me to go to the bathroom one more time... Uh-oh. I need to go. Great. I have 16 kids with...15 kids with their exams, and my bladder chooses to release now. Do I pee myself? What would Iggy Pop do...? What would that chode from Dead Poet's Society do? Ah, forget him. Iggy Pop... Speaking of pop, I'm about to.

I'm gone.

friday morning, lawdy lawdy

I love the word sacrosanct. There's something musical and enigmatic about the word.

I've made a ridiculously sexy algebra test. Fractions, reciprocals, variables, word problems, all combined to form a beaut of a test. Curvaceous, mysterious, intelligent. She's my silver medal.

So I should be grading the reading test that my students just took, but I feel like doing this instead. I've been working on the math test all morning, and doggone it I deserve a short break. I'm having a hard time keeping the students who finished the test quiet while the last girl works on hers. Unfortunately, she missed a month of school because she wanted to drop out. The problem is, her mom disagreed so she became a truant student and started receiving legal warnings. She shows up one day and asks for the past month's worth of work. My response: "Too bad."

It's a beautiful day outside, and I have my windown open and can see all the way to downtown Lex. That's one advantage of being on the 3rd floor: the view is spectacular. I like the isolation, to be honest. Few students play in the halls, few students come up to our room in the morning, and few administrators make the trek up the stairs to our attic. I want to be outside right now with Maxx. He was ticked when I left him this morning, and he bit me when I went to grab my boxers. Of course, he was sitting on them at the time (clean laundry is his fetish, surpassed only by dirty laundry), something that I think was purposeful. Devious li'l poodle...

survival

Well, I survived the first day of finals fairly unscathed. It ended up being an 11 1/2 hour day, though my special lady friend will quickly point out that I went in earlier than I had to, so I should lose the martyr attitude. It was long, though, and quite hectic. My conversation test ended up being very interactive on my part, but it was worth it. It felt authentic, in many ways.

I'm off to bed now to prep for an early morning date with the photocopier. "Makin' copies..." Thursday night television is dead.

Bolivia is at a crucial crossroads this Sunday. Hope for the best, whatever that may be.

By the way, does the sidebar appear at the bottom of the page for you all? Depending on what computer I'm on, it either appears as the sidebar or at the very bottom. Just wondering.

finals morning

I got to school at 6:20 this morning. Of course, my special lady friend had been at work since 5:50, but she's insane so it doesn't count.

Today begins my first stint as the evil giver-of-finals, a rather awkward moment, really. I remember hating finals but not being that intimidated by them (at least the arts and humanities ones), but this has been just god-awful! It's a pain in the arse to come up with a test that assesses the students in a fair and reasonable manner. The hardest part for me has been making sure that I include only things that I know they can do. All semester I've had to "dumb down" my stuff because most of my students have such limited English proficiency, but when it came to making the test I had to be extra careful that I wasn't including idioms that they wouldn't know in the directions or the example sentences. This is just plain hard!

Anyway, I got here at the buttcrack of dawn so that I could beat the mad rush to the photocopier, and I certainly did that! It's nice having small classes because it means I use 1/3 of the trees that "normal" teachers do. Oh, and on top of getting here way too early, I didn't leave here until 8:05 last night. Education is demanding.

I'm currently creating a test sheet on which I will create my algebra final. I have a program to do it in Word, but it takes for-ever because you have to insert an object each time, a real pain in the tuckus. I can't believe that I'm creating an algebra final because I could not hate math more than I do. The fact that I'm teaching a class on it is sickeningly ironic. I'm proud of myself, though, for remembering most of it (granted, it's basic), and I'm impressed with my teachers for getting it through to me. Who knows how they did it, but it's there, like it or not.

Bueno, I need to go come up with a better conversation final because mine sucks. I hate my conversation class. It's not the kids (at least not completely); it's the fact that I have no idea how to teach conversation. I have 3 classes with the same students, and there's only so much material I can come up with! Not fun.

inhumanifesto

Some day I’m going to pen an “inhumanifesto,” primarily for the fun of the pun.

bacardi 151

One of my favorite lines from Calvin (not John Calvin) is "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." I feel like Lexington won a nickel this morning.

The title is an alcoholic reference to this, my 151st post.

il divo

I am unpardonably late in becoming aware of the music of Il Divo. This quartet is an amazing group of hot lovers--I mean singers!--who are the only good thing to come out of Simon Cowell. I came across them through another impressive (and only slightly less sexy) group, Celtic Woman. Thank you, PBS, for doing pledge drives. Anyway, they sing a song called "Nella Fantasia," a gorgeous song that I have since learned is an arrangment of Sarah Brightman's. She, in turn, took it from one of my favorite scores, Ennio Morricone's The Mission. There's a motif that runs through the movie--showcased in "Gabriel's Oboe"--which Sarah Brightman used as the music for "Nella Fantasia," and I'm not sure who wrote the words. So realy, she did nothing but ask for permission to use the song... Oh well, I'll give her credit for that. Anyway, you owe it to yourself to find it somehow and listen to it. I have yet to hear a version that I disliked, and I doubt I will until Gwen Stefani gets her skankwhore meat-strokers on it and turns it hip-hop.

Looking back at what I've written, I've really only covered the history of the song (sort've a "six degrees of Ennio" thing), but I'm content at leaving it at that. I couldn't do it justice with my limited lexicon of musical terms, plus there are some things that can only be sullied with words, so I'll leave the sacred clean.

tee-hee-hee

A certain joy bubbles up in my heart to hear that many “megachurches” are closing for Xmas. It’s not a completely evil bubble, either; I think it can lead to more meaningful celebrations, but I also feel vindicated in my cynicism about the authenticity of faith in modern culture.

Go Catholic church!

pics

I forgot to mention that I've added a few pictures to my flickr page (see the right column of this page to go to my page). If you get a chance, I recommend checking out pictures by this person ( there are a lot, so skip around a lot!). He/she takes a lot of Bolivia, some of them beautiful.

flight

I don't remember if I ever put these up, so I'll do it now. This is at the Valle de las Rocas (Valley of the Rocks), one of the most no-duh names ever. This stone resembles--loosely--an eagle's beak, in my mind, so I decided to soar 15 feet above the ground. It wasn't easy to climb up on this eagle's back (I nearly fell numerous times, and I'm gripping with my knees for all I'm worth to keep from toppling over backwards), but it was well worth the trouble. I felt rather like Bilbo clinging to a dwarf's foot: I want down!



This is me taking a picture of myself near the top of Isla del Sol (Island of the Sun) where the Sun and Moon were born. Now that I think about it, I think I put this up before... Oh, well, you get two. Lago Titicaca (Titikarka means something about a puma--rock, I think--and is also derived from a formation on the island).

children

"There needs to be a give and take," says Suarez, an associate professor of social work at Adelphi University in Garden City, New York. "Children don't need to be allowed to run wild and free, but they do need to be allowed to express themselves."

Too often, though, our cultural emphasis on freedom and individual rights gets taken to the extreme, becoming "a kind of selfish entitlement that undermines our ability to function as a civil community," says George Scarlett, a professor of child development at Tufts University in Boston.

"The rights of any one individual -- whether he or she be a parent, child or stranger -- do not negate the rights of others." (Full article)

Preach it!

lassitude

I like the word lassitude. It sounds like the marriage between Lassie, lazy, latitude, and attitude. Any of them work for me right now.

I had a semi-long post typed up yesterday about where I want to go on my next vacation, but our computer at work bit the bullet and lost it. To summarize, I want to go to Fairmont Chateau at Lake Louise (check out the slideshow), and I want to go now. In fact, I want to live there. I wouldn't mind dying there, either. Anyone? So it's a little pricey: LOOK AT THE VIEW!

Instead, I think I 'll end up going to Vancouver for spring break, or at least try to get out there. Anyone?

raven run

Down by the grist mill. The reflection of the trees on the ice was striking, though this picture doesn't capture it well.

A female cardinal with "internal injuries" that we saw along the trail. My dad called animal 911 (RR nature center) and we marked the spot. It was a sad thing to see on a beautiful day, and I hate myself for thinking that.

The KY River from an overlook. It's a beautiful spot that is also good for family photos, apparently. Don't be surprised if you get a slew of Xmas cards from our various families...and they all look the same!

We went for a hike at Raven Run today and finished it off with a picnic of leftovers from Gluttony Day. Mi and I had been there several times, but this time I went with my father-in-law and the 'rents on a trail to a grist mill. My new favorite portion of the sanctuary.

sunrose

The rising of the sun this morning was beautiful. Pinks, roses, yellows, oranges, all filling the sky and beaming through the window. I like waking up on mornings like this.

gluttony

What a wonderful holiday that celebrates consumption and follows it up with the "shoppingest" day of the year. Indicative of a social trend?

Enjoy it in whatever way you do.

pedagogy on the fly

Today went quite well. A quick rundown of my day:

I got to school around 6:30 to type up my lesson plan for tomorrow (I had to turn it in today) and print stuff out. It’s amazing that inspiration can strike when the body and mind are at their lowest performance level. I got it cranked out and am quite excited. It’s for conversation class, so we’re going to be talking about the origin and present state of Thanksgiving. We’re going to perform and then create another readers theatre piece about the feast portion to complement our unit on food. It should be fun.

My reading classes have started reading Treasure Island (an extremely expurgated and revised edition) and seem to be responding very positively. We actually stayed on task and working up until the bell ring, a feat of Herculean proportions for these coddled students. I had a great time connecting with prior lessons, and I was winging it! They were great at remembering terms that I was sure they would have forgotten (6 elements of a short story; types of characters; etc.) and took wonderful notes. I decided that we’re going to make a “character book” to help us keep track of the various scallywags and ruffians we come across. I’d forgotten how seedy some of them are!

My math class: depressing. You would hope that students in an algebra class would be able to complete 100 multiplication problems (1-10) in 4 minutes, but only 4 out of 20 did so. Nobody finished the division problems in the same time. ALGEBRA!

Okay, I’m off of here to grab some chow. Q’doba, mmmmm…

fall birds

fall birds
The dark stars of day
Birds that spin above my head

Obliviously

You have to look closely for the birds, but they're there.
They filled the trees behind our house by the hundreds, and they were so loud that they almost made your ears ring. The most amazing moment was when they flew away. As one, they left the tree and filled the sky, and the instant they left the tree, there wasn't a sound. I might almost have felt, for a moment, that I had gone deaf, so sudden and simultaneous was their silence.

Beautiful.

tofurkey

It's a beautiful day outside, and I've chosen to spend it inside doing work. House work, school work, movie-trivia-acquisition work, etc. It's been fun.

The rents and laws come in on Wednesday, an arrival sure to make for some interesting stories, though few shareable.

Current listening choice is "Requiem" from the Akira soundtrack. Fourteen and a half minutes of organs, Japanese drums, Japanese male choirs, Japanese female choirs, and a partridge on a bamboo stalk.

Currently procrastinating from typing up a formal lesson plan for my Conversation I class on Tuesday. Lesson topic? I have no clue. Lesson objective? Learn English, I guess.

Current pet peeve: education.

Over and out of things to say.

oops

I dropped the f-bomb in tutoring yesterday afternoon. It really functioned like a bomb: loud crash followed by utter silence. It also eliminated the problem, so was it justified? Perhaps not as profoundly thought-provoking as the A-bomb, but the F-bomb has its own particular power.

the library of babylon

Library sciences is sounding more and more beautiful to me. I decompressed with a fellow teacher today who is also having an "educator crisis" (by the way, my lessons today were on why/when we say 'a' or 'an,' and may I say what a joy it was to teach count and non-count nouns), though we've come to quite different conclusions. We did agree on one point: all in all, education is headed down a very bumpy road with very little road repair. God, I hate stupid metaphors...

school thoughts

Rob Gonsalves - from Imagine a Night

Perhaps it's because of my chosen profession, or perhaps it's because of recent readings, or perhaps it's for no reason whatsoever, but recently my mind has been lingering around the idea of education. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've never been passionate about education, and I despise those who say "Education is a calling" (too religious for my taste); I believe in the importance of educaiton, and I've committed myself to being a quality educator, but I've never had any illusions about what that might entail. I try to maintain a pragmatic approach to education as an alternative to the messianic egoism of many people who enter education to become "the person who changes people's lives." Passionate isn't a word that comes to my mind when I think of myself as an educator, and I would actually be a little put out if someone called me that. Passion is all well and good, but passion isn't synonymous with good education. Too few people distinguish the two, and it's those people (the Jaime Escalantes and Robin Williams-characters) that I despise talking to about education. They're so invested in the traditional ideologies that create the foundation of contemporary public education that they cannot imagine the changes that could revolutionize and strengthen The System into a strong educational paradigm. It's that myopic perspective which is driving me mad, moreso because I see it in myself.

• No Child Left Behind - I've taken issue with this from its nascence, though partly because it was being derided by many edcuators who I admired and less because I had a real quarrel with it. Now, though, I despise it for ideological reasons, not financial reasons. It represents--not subtly--one of the great hypocrisies of public education. While it purports to be about individual children, especially minority children, the means by which it ensures that each child is taught as an individual is completely antithetical to the notion of individuality. We standardize the curriculum, the assessment, and even our teaching methods, all so that we can make sure that all children receive a good...what? Education? If every person is receiving the same thing, it's not individualism. As all new teachers are being taught, equality is not equity, and NCLB (funny how it sounds like Nickleby) celebrates equality with complete disregard for the hints of communistic ideology.
  

• What is the purpose of education? - I know that I should have asked myself this years ago, and I did, but it's a hard question, dammit! I have two theories: 1) Public education is actually a training ground for future attendees of cocktail parties; 2) Public education is a culling ground for the future technologists of the world, and it's really just an expensive sieve. The System is a giant pan-sieve (what prospectors used; the name eludes me and I have no idea what I'm talking about) and all the students are bits of dirt and stone being shaken violently to find the few pieces of gold who will rise to the top or not fall through the cracks. Am I willing to be one of the people shaking that pan? I'm not sure. I'm a cynic, but even I hesitate at that analogy and role! I have much more to say about this, but it may have to come in "School thoughts II."

It's pouring, gusting, thundering, and flashing outside my window, and I sit here calmly listening to music and writing down words which will lose their meaning, relevance, and any power they might possess as soon as I hit "publish." On a complete aside, I think that one of the problems I have with Christianity is the self-importance it gives to humans in the grand scheme. Do we think the ant thinks itself an ant and not the greatest creation? Although I'm human--not a demon, contrary to popular opinion--I don't think that I'm all that important. All religions seek to find a purpose for life and a place for humans in the cosmos, but few religions have put humanity at the dead center of an infinite universe. I find it much more satisfying to think that I'm a blip in the history of an endless world than to think that I'm divine and living in the squalor of humanity. The strangest thing about that thought is that I don't find it strange...

mountains of creation

Click on this link for a spectacular picture of one of the most beautiful mountain ranges I’ve seen.

tuesday mornings with a headache

I've had this title sitting on the screen for about half an hour and cannot think of anything to accompany it's horrible pun. That's the curse of this blog: I sometimes feel obligated to write something when I truly have nothing to say. Of course, I rarely do have something to say, but that hasn't stopped me, has it.

Today feels like it's going to be a blur. How many days, do you think, will we live and have no recollection of having lived?

rapture

I just obtained an interesting “documentary” called The God Who Wasn’t There. I use quotation marks around the documentary because it’s really more of an extended editorial. It has some great insights, some of which I may share, though I really doubt it. For a good laugh, though, check out Rapture Letters. Contextualizing the Bible, baby!

school model

One of my colleagues and I have been talking about the education model (and variations thereof) outlined in prior posts, and he came across Sudbury Valley School, an odd yet fascinating example of that model in action. I haven't explored much of their site, but I recommend browsing through it, and I would love to hear your thoughts on it.

final quinn

I feel that I’m deluging the blog with Daniel Quinn, so I’ll wrap it up with a parable that I found on a website dedicated to his works.

Sinking Ship
The ship was sinking---and sinking fast. The captain told the passengers and crew, "We've got to get the lifeboats in the water right away."
But the crew said, "First we have to end capitalist oppression of the working class. Then we'll take care of the lifeboats."
Then the women said, "First we want equal pay for equal work. The lifeboats can wait."
The racial minorities said, "First we need to end racial discrimination. Then seating in the lifeboats will be allotted fairly."
The captain said, "These are all important issues, but they won't matter a damn if we don't survive. We've got to lower the lifeboats right away!"
But the religionists said, "First we need to bring prayer back into the classroom. This is more important than lifeboats."
Then the pro-life contingent said, "First we must outlaw abortion. Fetuses have just as much right to be in those lifeboats as anyone else."
The right-to-choose contingent said, "First acknowledge our right to abortion, then we'll help with the lifeboats."
The socialists said, "First we must redistribute the wealth. Once that's done everyone will work equally hard at lowering the lifeboats."
The animal-rights activists said, "First we must end the use of animals in medical experiments. We can't let this be subordinated to lowering the lifeboats."
Finally the ship sank, and because none of the lifeboats had been lowered, everyone drowned.
The last thought of more than one of them was, "I never dreamed that solving humanity's problems would take so long---or that the ship would sink so SUDDENLY."

Pragmatism incarnate, if you ask me. Of course, you didn’t, but I answered anyway.

thoughts for food

I'm skimming through a semi-interesting book called My Ishmael, Daniel Quinn's sequel to the brilliant Ishmael, and am thinking that I may have to go back through and skim more thoroughly. I checked it out from our school library because I adored the first one and thought that this one might take it to new places. Well, the first 20 pages were a near-perfect facsimile of the first 20 pages of Ishmael, and I became a little disappointed and pessimistic about where else Daniel Quinn could take his ideas, so I stopped. Last night, though, I skimmed back through it and found that he actually takes his ideologies about human and social development and applies them to education. His works are highly misanthropic on the surface, but I'm sure he would argue that they are actually aimed against modernity and the egoistic evolution of mankind into gods, particularly in the West. It's hard for me to capture the spirit of his works (it's also been some time since I read Ishmael), so I'll give you an excerpt from My Ishmael as an example.

I wanted to show you a model of education that works for people. It works very simply, without cost, without effort, without administration of any kind. Children simply go wherever they want and spend time with whomever they want in order to learn the things they want to learn when they actually want to learn them. Not every child's education is identical. Why on earth should it be? The idea is not that every child should receive the entire heritage but rather that every generation should receive it. And it is received, without fail; this is proved by the fact that society continues to function, generation after generation, which it couldn't do if its heritage were not being transmitted faithfully and totally, generation after generation.

Another excerpt:

Every one of your systems is a utopian system. Democracy would be heaven--if people would just be better than people have ever been... And of course your schools would work perfectly under the same conditions.

And this is brilliant:

Your basic citizen's education wasn't expanded from four grades to eight in order to include astronomy, microbiology, and zoology. It wasn't expanded from eight grades to twelve grades in order to include astrophysics, biochemistry, and paleontology. It wasn't expanded from twelve grades to sixteen in order to include exobiology, plasma physics, and heart surgery. Today's graduates don't leave school with all the advances of the past hundred years in their heads. Just like their great-great-grandparents a century ago, they leave with enough in their heads to start at the bottom of the job market, flipping burgers, pumping gas, and bagging groceries. It just takes today's graduates a whole lot longer to get there.

Take it or leave it, but he does make some interesting points. Of course, some of his solutions are whimsical, in my mind, but he would say that's because I've been acculturated into the system from birth, and the notion of anything else as functional is impossible for me to accept. For example, he says that a "tribal system" of education would be as or more efficient than any model we have today (I can't say I disagree completely); children would learn from parents and peers, "learn to read the same way they learned how to see, by being around sighted people," and so forth. Perhaps it's my cynicism, but I don't see this happening without some fundamental changes in our humanity and society (there's a "no duh" statement).

One more quote that's on his website:

One of the great, persistent myths of education in our culture is that children become reluctant learners as they grow older. In fact, what they become reluctant about is going to school, where they're bullied, regimented, bored silly, and very effectively prevented from learning. Providence

More later, must teach now.

please?

Would someone please shut Pat Robertson up? I love to see a nimrod dig his own hole as much as anyone, but there comes a point when it's more painful than humorous, and he passed that a few years ago. He's the David Brent of Xianity! Observe:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson told citizens of a Pennsylvania town that they had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting "intelligent design" and warned them Thursday not to be surprised if disaster struck...Last summer, he hit the headlines by calling for the assassination of leftist Venezuelan Present Hugo Chavez, one of President George W. Bush's most vocal international critics.

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club."

"And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there," he said.

Are you kidding me? Wait, there's more:

In 1998, Robertson warned the city of Orlando, Florida that it risked hurricanes, earthquakes and terrorist bombs after it allowed homosexual organizations to put up rainbow flags in support of sexual diversity.

Well, thank you Pat for that outstanding observation. You mean the chances of a hurricane hitting Florida are high? Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that, ever! Minnesota, maybe, but not Orlando.

WHY IS HE STILL ALIVE?! Proof positive that there is no god, if you ask me. Of course I don't mean that, but I'm pissed.

church doors

PICT2242
Originally uploaded by dwanker2000.

I took this picture in Cusco, Peru, and I kick myself for not having taken it 10 seconds earlier. This woman and a man were knelt at the door for a long time praying. Mi and I were sitting on the steps of the main cathedral on the Plaza de Armas when we saw them walking by with heavy bags on their backs. The old man was hunched over from the weight. They were obviously in a hurry, but they stopped, knelt, and prayed. It was an incredibly moving picture of devotion and loyalty (faith, even) that meant so much more than most professions of faith I've ever heard.

lost

Lost is the devil. It possesses magical powers of bewitchment that draw you in and don't let go.

At least one of my least favorite characters is dead. And that statement is disgusting in and of itself. I think that film and theatre (but especially film) make it easy to wish someone dead or to gloss over a death without thought of the permanence of it.

Another thought: how important are humans in the grand scheme? I posit that not at all, but of course I don't live my life that way. Even though my life in the grand scheme may mean nothing, it means everything to me, so I live it as if it was the most important life in the world. How can anyone say that Darwin was wrong? Speaking of, screw Kansas.

rump

Weekends go by altogether too quickly. One day you're playing poker, the next minute you're playing volleyball, and the next day you're teaching a bunch of kids with no inner monologue or volume control.

Millions is really cute, by the way. Danny Boyle is quickly becoming my favorite director, a category which, till recently, I had paid little attention. Sure, Darren Aronofsky and David Fincher are great (I could probably think of a few more if I weren't so knackered), but Boyle has been consistently good (a few bumps along the way--Cameron Diaz).

I hope to have a chance to blog more frequently, but real life is beginning to get in the way of my cyberlife!

over

I’m thoroughly enjoying Flickr. I’ve added quite a few fotos, and it’s 10x easier than doing it in Blogger, though also less accessible. If you have some time to kill, check out the fotos of Bolivian children that Mi and I took (the good ones were taken by her).

Today ended my first cycle of internship observation and evaluation, so it’s a bit of a happy day. It was a long road, though. It  began this morning with getting up at the buttcrack of dawn (circa 5.30) to type up a lesson plan for the day. It was soon followed by the tirade of expletives I let fly when I got to school and realized I had left my jumpdrive at home along with all of my work. Fortunately, since the info was only minutes old, I was able to recreate it and improve it.

The observation by the retired teacher (he’s my “university supervisor”) went relatively well, and he only had one concern/question about some behavior management. After the observation, I had a meeting with my supervising teacher, assistant principal, and the uni sup. I must say that I was quite encouraged by their laudatory comments, especially in regards to my classroom management. It’s always been one of my main concerns, but they were extremely impressed by how comfortable and focused the class was. Those of you who know me will be surprised to hear one of the words they used to describe my classroom persona and management: “compassionate.” Can you think of a word that seems less appropriate for me? Anyway, the first 3rd of the internship is over, and I’ve set a high standard for myself in my eyes and theirs, so we shall see how this turns out.

Nina Simone sings one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I’ve heard, “Where Does the Time Go,” and the copy I have (there may be multiple) is performed live in one of the most beautiful performances I’ve heard. She spends a few minutes chatting and talking about time. Then she sings. If you’re interested, email me and I’ll find a way to get it to you.

Across the evening sky, all the birds are leavingBut how can they know it's time for them to go?Before the winter fire, I will still be dreamingI have no thought of timeFor who knows where the time goes?Who knows where the time goes?Sad, deserted shore, your fickle friends are leavingAh, but then you know it's time for them to goBut I will still be here, I have no thought of leavingI do not count the timeFor who knows where the time goes?Who knows where the time goes?And I am not alone while my love is near meI know it will be so until it's time to goSo come the storms of winter and then the birds in spring againI have no fear of timeFor who knows how my love grows?And who knows where the time goes?

rotten veggies

This blog gets updated about as often as Bolivia wins a war! (click here)

My work here is done. I’m off to start typing a lesson I was to have emailed this morning. Yummy.

This made me sad. The hard, jagged lines seem exaggerated against the backdrop of this beautiful jaguar. We're used to seeing pictures of animals against majestic jungles and savannahs, and here we have metal against the majestic spotting of a cat. What a paradoxical creation!

This requires no caption.

Mi took this, and it's brilliant!

I thought the contrast in this shot was...interesting.

back

We're back, loaded down with crap, and busy as beavers (I think I heard that somewhere). The new car was magnificent to drive, surpassed only slightly by the beautiful, flaming trees. I've never seen a "picturesque" fall, but I'm thoroughly enjoying this one!

I have no clue how to put these pictures up without making them individual posts or taking 3 hours out of my life, so I'm going to do it the lazy, ugly way. My apologies, and someone please tell me how to do it without having to fight with formatting!

polluters

I found this article about the worst polluters funny. Silly Canuks.

second observation

What is it about being evaluated that is terrifying? I know I'm good at what I do, but knowing that someone is going to evaluate how I do my job gives me cramps. Perhaps it's the power that they have to terminate my employment, but shouldn't I be equally glad that I get to show off my abilities? Maybe that's how I'll start looking at it: "Today I'm going to show you how damned lucky you are to have me as a teacher at your school!"

I've been struggling with long-suppressed prejudices recently. It's difficult not to make generalizations about a people group when you're surrounded by them and therefore see all problematic behaviour through the lense of race. I know that it's ludicrous, and I don't think I'm the only one who struggles to be more objective in our critique of behaviour. I think that sensitivity to racial issues is so ingrained in Estadounidenses (English doesn't have a good word for "someone from the United States," so I'll use the Spanish word) that it is the first lense through which we look at a situation like immigration, crime, poverty, etc. Instead of considering the many factors which combine to spawn such situations, we tend to jump immediately to race as a cause. I think that Estadounidenses have a hard time viewing multifaceted issues; we always think black and white (literally, sometimes). Anyway, I've been struggling to draw myself out of the race fray and to approach the problems I'm encountering in the classroom with a more personal, cultural, and economic slant. Wish me luck!

Miah painted a series of tree paintings (I believe she called the series "As Seen Through a Tent") a few months ago, and this is one of my favorites. The picture doesn't do the color justice, so I may repost a better one. The inspiration came from a sunny siesta we took in our tent several months or longer ago. Leaves blocked most of the sunlight that would otherwise have beat down on us, but the price they paid was to be set ablaze in brilliant greens and yellows, an incredible sight that really impacted Mi. This particular painting was one of the ones in the Guignol gallery at UK.
This is our bedroom as seen by an ant. My hand served as a tripod, and yes, those are my fingers intruding. Maxx is quite intrigued by the ant, so much so that the next picture the ant took is of Maxx exploring his own nether regions. You can take the crotch out of the dog, but you can't take the dog out of his crotch... Holy cow, I must copyright that!

cynic

I heard a comedian, Mario Digiorgio, on a morning show recently, and I confess that I laughed more than I should have while driving. What got to me most was his brilliant book entitled A Cynic’s Guide to a Rich and Full Life. As you may know, I’m a devout cynic, and this was right down my alley.

links

Be sure to check out my new links, dwain! Some of them are cool!

Here's Maxx speeding like mad around the flowerbed from his peephole into Tyson's domain. He practically has a circuit worn in the grass!

boring list

Tuesdays are proof positive that Europeans are stupid people. If we had any sort of sense whatsoever, we would realize that Tuesday needs to be a day off to recover from the trauma of Monday.

I had a little, insignificant moment yesterday which I wish to share with my audience of Self. It was one of those moments that is wholly surreal and deserves a greater word than “moment” or “incident,” but I can’t supply one right now. Let me know if you can think of one. Regardless, I was driving home from work after a relatively long day when I happened to turn to NPR, that haven of drab-voiced folks, and heard a critic’s review of Sigur Ros’s latest album, Takk. It was nothing, but it was a perfectly serendipitous moment which wrapped up an otherwise unremarkable day. “Milano” is my favorite track.

You know, I’m going to name some other groups/songs which have brought moments of delight to my life recently.

• The Bravery’s “Honest Mistake” is more 80s than any of The Killers’.
  
• Death Cab for Cutie, though only a couple of their tunes such as “A Lack of Color.”
  
• Delerium’s “Flowers Become Screens” is ominously fun.
  
• I absolutely adore Longview’s “I Would.” It has extremely sappy lyrics sans the sappy music that has become the style du jour.
  
• Porcupine Tree are more than a little odd, but “Daylight” is fun.
  
• The Postal Service’s “We Will Become Silhouettes” was so cool until I heard it on a car commercial recently.
  
• Starsailor has been of some interest, though quickly waning.
  
• A repeat: Robert Plant and the Strange Sensation have become a staple of my daily listening."Dancing in Heaven" is my favorite.
  

Okay, the poodle is barking like mad at the neighbor’s dog, Tyson. Tyson is an 80 lb. dog who’s Maxx’s best friend after Miah. All we have to do is say “Tyson” and Maxx tears like mad through the house to the back door. We actually have a bare patch of grass where he’s established his superiority by kicking grass in the air, a ritual akin to men thinking that putting a round ball through a circle is a sign of masculinity.

Geez, he’s scratching at me. Okay, bud, I’m co…. Jerk.

ketchup

It’s been many days since I last posted, though I’ve considered it many times. I have actually begun to feel guilty for blogging despite how little time I actually dedicate to it. There’s always “something better to do,” but if I always did what was “better,” my life would be as droll as… Well, it would be as droll as my life!

A cursory review of some of the fun things that have happened:

• Had a night out with 2 French girls, a Mexican couple, and a balding American (the white variety, not the native kind) who is in the same program I had the misfortune of graduating from. It was a blast after all was said and spent, beginning with a delayed meal at Clamato’s, the most ill-named restaurant that of course specializes in seafood. The STD associations almost scream out themselves. In typical fashion we ate 1 ½ after we were supposed to because we were waiting for the Mexican couple. Mi would have a fascinating term for the difference in time-valuation from Latino culture to Yank culture, but I call it “hora Latina.” To top off the multicultural night we went to Kitty O’Shea’s, the most inauthentic Irish bar in the Bluegrass, and listened to crappy music and drank cheap rum. It was quite empty when we got there at about 11, but by 1:30, when we left, I couldn’t take a step without violating or being violated by someone’s unmentionables, burnt by some drunken sod with a Swisher Sweet, or spilling some half-naked broad’s drink down her exposed cleavage and all over my own weather-appropriate jacket. It was a fascinating venture into the world of college partying which I never dabbled in because I had no interest in it. A more homogenous group would be difficult to find, unless you went down the street to a bar whose atmosphere and clientele would be exact facsimiles of Kitty’s and Two-Keys and A-1 and Bananas and… Girls with goose bumped thighs despite the rushing warmth of the vodka peddled their flesh to guys with hair immaculately ruffled, a carefully calculated tousle meant to project disregard for appearances and the rules. The girls danced with the girls, the guys stood back and leered over their plastic beer glasses. The lust was almost palpable. We got home at 2 o’clock and both collapsed from physical and emotional exhaustion. It’s difficult to see that much desperation.


• On Saturday we went to visit some friends who live in a nearby town whose cornerstone is my abortive alma mater. We walked from their pad to the institution’s sports complex to play wallyball, and our meandering took us right through the middle of campus. I really wish I could describe sans vulgarities the revulsion and hatred that I feel for that place, but I can’t. So I won’t. Wallyball was fun, racquetballs was deadly fun, and Sam and I beat out the ladies at Euchre.


• Yesterday was a somewhat more productive day, though only slightly. One of my oldest friends (isn’t it sad when 7 years is oldest?) came over with his wife and child and we chewed the fat and drank good drinks. The centerpiece of our conversation became Lost, an addictive game which I’m certain many evangelicals will soon deem evil. Anyway, it was fun.


• Yesterday also brought a beautiful thing into our garage: 4 x 16 feet of chopped firewood, quickly followed by a roaring fire and the smell of smoke filling the house (in the good way). Bloody brilliant!


• Today went well, or at least relatively well, at school as my ESL I classes began the dive into a serious study of grammar. No more simple mimicry; we’re going to understand what we’re saying and why! Parts of speech was the focus today (defining them), and tomorrow will see us beginning the tricky task of learning the sentence patterns of English. There are only about 5 of them, but they require an enormous amount of background work before they make any sense. Oh, and we’re simultaneously working on memorizing the irregular verbs. There are way too many of them damn things!

I think that does semi-justice to a few of the moments which made me think, “I need to blog this.”

Oh oh oh oh oh! One more! Last week, during my observation, one of my students responded to a foto of a Bolivian girl that I was showing, “There are Mexicans in Bolivia?” The silence that followed and the blush that came across his face when he saw us all staring at him was almost enough humiliation, but I had to kick him while he was down: I hung my head, covered my eyes, and said, “There is such a thing as a stupid question.”

fighting foodons

it would be remiss of me not to post the link to what became one of my favorite cartoons ever, the "Fighting Foodons." The link is to a hi-fi opening credits sequence. Be sure to check out the sound, too!

duck duck goose

So I survived my first official observation unscathed and with no bullet hole, self-inflicted nor other. I won’t say that it was fun, but the students behaved and worked, all that I could really hope for. Of course, I only got though about ¾ of my lesson plan, but that’s better than finishing it and having 20 minutes left to fill. “Duck, Duck, Goose,” anyone?

Education is a joke. Not all children will succeed, not all children can succeed in the sense of the word as defined by bureaucratic nincompoops, and many children will be left behind, some by choice. It is a right, but it is not a requirement that we exercise our rights. For example, I’m not going to bear arms. I’m torn on the issue of mandatory attendance/schooling. Why should teachers be held accountable for the students who willingly choose to not learn? We’re not miracle workers (“001 011 001,” for your Family Guy fans).

Johnny Walker agrees with me, so we’re going to go chat on our new loveseat. Wouldn’t it make more sense for the couch to be the loveseat? I mean, really, I can’t imagine getting frisky on a loveseat is nearly as comfortable as getting frisky on a couch. Umm, that was Mr. Walker talking. Bad Mr. Walker!

building as we go

One of my favorite Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison photos. I'm about to go to bed with most of my lesson left unplanned, and I feel like I'm at the end of my private-dock wondering where to go next. I'm tired of being evaluated and assessed (semantics). I just want to live my life, build my bridge, and burn it down one day. There's a lot to be said for burning bridges, I think.

Tonight I finished watching one of my favorite films, The 13th Warrior, a film which always moves me for some reason. The stoicism and quiet dignity that the characters embody are refreshing amid emotion-driven films. The fatalism of the North has always been attractive to me, and there are few enough films which portray that attitude in our America of hope. American Beauty was cynical, not fatalistic; 28 Days Later was misanthropic and somewhat fatalistic; I'm spit-balling for others. Regardless, 13th Warrior is warm in its fatalism, inspirational despite its tragedy, and it was filmed in freaking B.C.!

This is Louis the albino alligator. I think his name is Louis. Maybe it's King Louis... Isn't that the name of the orangutan (sp?) in The Jungle Book film?

hakuna matata education

I begin my first cycle of observations for my internship on Wednesday (I know that that’s a dangling modifier or some such syntactical error), and I’m quite frightened. For one, I’m not trained to teach ELLs, and beyond that I’m not the greatest organizer in the world. This internship would try the most devout pencil-pusher in the world. I think it’s a sign of superfluous paperwork when one shelf in my office is dedicated solely to binders full of poo. No, not literal poo, though don’t think I haven’t thought of it. Try explaining that last sentence to an ELL (English Language Leaner, by the by).

Mi made a great point in a reflective paper she wrote this past weekend: education is stuck in the past. We (educators) continually strive to improve student learning (not to be confused with achievement) within the confines of an educational system whose goals are based on the paradigms of bygone pedagogy. I don’t understand how education can have become as trancado in its ways as it has, and I see little hope for its future. Of course, I don’t have answers as to where it should be heading, but I do know that we’re basing our future on recreating our past (“tradition” is a dominant theme), a failure in the making. I have a much less idealistic notion of how great of an impact education will have on society, either micro or macrocosmically, than do many of the policy-makers who are directing the future of education. I believe that there are certain roles, strata, caste levels, whatever you choose to call them, which will forever exist despite anyone’s push for egalitarianism. I’m not saying that this stratification is good, but I do wonder if it can or should be abolished. I don’t know. Of course everyone deserves an education, but that education does not guarantee that a student will be able to move upward within the social strata, so why do we aggrandize education into something that it’s not? Let’s face it: someone will always be washing cars, cooking meals, cleaning plates, and emptying our trash cans. I don’t mean to sound clichéd or callous, but every cog in the system is equally important as the other, no matter that one may be made of gold and another steel (horrible metaphor, but you understand). This is an issue that arises often when talking about the function of illegal immigrants in the US, especially Hispanic immigrants. As malicious as the public is about the legality and morality of the immigrants, the system would quickly unravel if they were suddenly withdrawn from it. It would also require a complete reworking of our socioeconomic ideology to have White people doing all of the “menial” tasks which have become the gateway for so many immigrants; there’s a certain pride that has developed among White suburbanites who have their white collar jobs only because someone of a less corporate color has taken the blue collar job, a pride which would make the “fall” all that much harder.

Okay, I’m procrastinating. Back to writing a formal lesson plan.

Maxx worships at the feet of the Green Man.

Autumn in her flaming dress
Of orange, brown, gold fallen leaves
My mistress of the frigid night
I worship pray to on my knees

My first Type O Negative reference! I'm so proud of myself for having held off for as long as I have... Oh, wait. I mentioned Peter Steele months ago. Darnit!

faith of the fallen

Interesting. Came across this on a friend's blog a few months ago and forgot about it, but recent interactions with teens brought it back to mind. We had a "motivational speaker" at school last week who crossed a legal line by ending his mindless speech with "Jesus isn't a curse word; he's my savior." I expected a stunned silence, but a smattering of applause turned into a fest of catcalls and cheering. Hence, this:

The way that so many kids in America are Christian -- and a vast majority are -- is disturbing. Their Christianity is so nebulous, so watered down, that Smith calls their religion ‘Moralistic Therapeutic Deism.’ That is, they believe in God, they believe God wants us to be ‘good people’ and to make ‘good choices,’ and they believe that God is available to answer them or help them out when they need him. Other than that, they can articulate exactly nothing distinctive about the Christian faith. Tony Jones paraphrasing a study by Christian Smith

By the way, I love camping.

damn hippies...

What a fiasco-plagued trip. The gasket on our stove’s pump was totally kaput, dashing all of our meal plans for the weekend. There wasn’t a dry piece of wood to be found, and no piece of wood larger than my forearm (that’s quite small). Mi slipped and fell, bruising her fanny and arms. I dropped my water bottle and walked for ¼ of a mile before we noticed. Something else happened… Oh, well, you get the gist of it.

Don’t think that it wasn’t fun—it was bloody wonderful!—but it definitely did not go as planned. I’ll be posting some fotos that I took for weeks to come. There’s something infinitely peaceful about camping out in BFE. However, I consider the notion of camping to be a vain and insensate attempt at recreating the joy of being in tune with nature. First of all, it’s not recreating anything because people who lived in nature in the way that “campers” do were focused more on survival than on achieving some puerile pleasure. Also, we talk about “rustic camping,” meaning we have to walk to the camping site—there’s a site where we sleep, for Pete’s sake!—and take a little stove and dehydrated food. Oh, and we use matches, no lighter fluid. How “rustic” is that? That’s how people lived, not how the passed the time! Everything about modern camping is synthetic, an abominable marriage of modernism with a faux nostalgia for the “simpler days” which were not in the least simple.

Good times, though. I just despise the dissembling attitude behind the whole shebang. Did I mention the tent? The sleeping pads? The sleeping bags?

walk on the wilderness side

We’re going camping for the first time in over a year!! We’ve wanted to for ages, but there always seems to be “something else” to do, something infinitely less satisfying but also easier than heading out.

The weather is supposed to be perfect (although the low of 43 on Saturday night has me shivering already), and the poodle is as excited as can be about “going for a ride in the car!” We’re heading out to a spot about 2 miles from Rock Bridge in the Red River Gorge, and though I’m not jumping up and down about the “strenuous hike,” I’m ecstatic about hanging out for 3 days by 2 beautiful streams which meet right where we settle.

Okay, I need to go help Mi pack.

not-so-little-foot

I seem to be stepping on religious toes recently no matter how carefully I try to tread. I suppose I could stand perfectly still where I am and not step on anyone, but I don’t think that I could actually do that about religion. Certain issues I am willing to either ignore or skirt in my wandering, issues like abortion, though I’d say that I’m circling it more than skirting it. I must include a snippet of a “conversation” I’ve been having sporadically for a few weeks:

If you want to be miserable than fine, but dont go and rub it off on others. Finally, if you wanna go to hell fine, but don't drag others down with you okay [sic].

This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’m going to go have a glass of scotch. Now that’s something that makes you feel warm inside!

How many freakin’ Land Before Times are there?

101!

this wasn't going to be a special post until i realized that it's my 101st! i'd like to dedicate this post to all the people who have stuck with us through all the $#@!ing s%$#. and to all of those opposed... well... (okay, i have no idea why i put that because it's really a rather stupid Guns 'n Roses snippet, but it just felt right. having read it, though, it's totally wrong.)

the original reason for getting on here was to sing the praises of Crash, one of the best movies i've seen in quite some time. it's the first film to have brought tears to my eyes in quite some time, too. it's going to take me a while to process, but it's definitely a film i'm going to revisit many times, perhaps even in the classroom. movies that deal with race in original and raw ways are rare, and when one does emerge from the quickly expanding Holly-library of race movies, it's a pleasure and a pain to watch. American History X is an example of such a film. i rarely watch it because of how indescribably painful it is in its study of racism, but each time i do i'm enraged and broken by how real it is. if you haven't seen it, please go and rent it!

okay, i'm going to wrap up 101 and go find a happy place by watching something fun. Ong-Bak, perhaps.

not only am i the president, i'm also a member!

for those of you who know me, i present to you a few links to sites which have really snatched my attention. take them in the good humor with which they are shared.

The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic: at least check out their motto

The Skeptic's Annotated Bible: this is a great reference tool, and it hates everyone equally, including the Q'ran and the Book of Mormon

Schools of Feminist Thought: this isn't humorous at all, actually, but is rather interesting and informative

Insult Monger: bloody brilliant you miserably offensive barbarian and deplorable, simple-minded mass of neuroses and complexes.

and though i have about 145 more, i'm going to stop because i'm as bored by this as you are. more, actually.

children are ruining our future

A friend of mine who went through the same master’s (I never know if that requires an apostrophe or not) program as I did and who got a job at the school where I did my student teaching sent me a very discouraged and heartbreaking email today.

I have one class that makes me cry (not in front of them of course) everyday.

Knowing this woman and knowing how good of a teacher she is makes this all the harder to hear. The school was definitely rough, but I survived the maelstrom and consider myself that much stronger of a teacher because of it. My heart goes out to her.

They are actually plotting against me (there's a ring leader and all who is in charge of the plot).  Its crazy and I'm getting ready to quit!!!  But other than that, everything is good :) 

C’mon! This is ridiculous! When a teacher is so disempowered by the school that there’s crap like this going on, there’s a problem. I was speaking with someone at the “It’s About Kids Support Services” office today (I will not get started on that bullshit moniker today) earlier about how flawed the system has become in the past decades. I don’t know exactly when teachers lost their authority, but it’s gone. Some of the above situation may be my friend’s personality and exceptionally bad students, but I also know the discipline problems are endemic from my own experience there. We were actively discouraged from writing referrals for students, while at my new school I was told by a principal to “keep ‘em comin’!” I’m not saying that referrals address the issues (far from it), but principals are the closest thing to an actual authority figure that there is in a school.

I am definitely regretting going into education.

How bad is it if we feel jaded after such a short amount of time? I know that teachers with more experience will say that this is the rough part, but how indicative of the poor state of the system is it that we’re so quickly turned off from our career! I’m astounded by all of this. I spent the last 6 years of my life preparing to do what I’m doing, and I can’t imagine doing this for much longer!

Roses aren't the only manifestation of red in nature, and they're definitely not the only beautiful example.

The betta is Rojo (this must be pronounced with the appropriate "gringo," drawled R and the explosive J of Joe) and the pepper is digested. Funny story: Miah sent me to the Farmers' Market for peppers to make pepper soup, and.... and I just realized that I may have already told this story. Did I? You know, on second thought, I'm not even sure that pepper goes with that sweater. Screw it, I'll take both. For the 1 of you that got that reference, thank you. Anyway, long story short, I ended up buying 50 peppers: 4 to freeze for stir-fry; 1 for eating now; 2 to give away; 1 to throw away; and 42 to broil/roast/grill and freeze. Oh, and 2 of the roasted are now sitting in olive oil along with some garlic and chives. Mmmm, olive oil...

who, i ask you

who has the fortitude and maturity not to chuckle just a little bit when reading about this horrible tragedy. i know that it's my cultural-linguistic lense that is making me find even an ounce of humor in this, but i just can't help it. maybe it's because of how early it is. maybe it's because of how late i stayed up. maybe it's because i've been around teenagers too much recently. regardless, i chuckled. i apologize for the weird formatting, but i'm not sure how to make it more readable.

BEIJING, China (AP) -- China said 59 of its soldiers were washed awayby
raging floodwaters sparked by Typhoon Longwang, and the country's president has
called for an all-out search, state media have reported...Longwang, which means
"Dragon King" in Chinese, lashed the island of Taiwan on Sunday before hitting
the mainland. CNN.com

i spoke briefly with 2 of the other new teachers here at LHS, and they're seriously reconsidering whether or not they'll return next year. one of them is actually reconsidering her career choice and is considering doctoral work! i don't know if i have the heart to tell her about the placement rate of people with doctorates. crap, now i'm thinking about it...

garfield

The tubby cat is not funny all that often, but I agree wholeheartedly with his hatred of Mondays. There's something disheartening about the day, and bad things happen (like using two words with the word "heart" in them that closely together) that only make it worse. Please let me get through this day...

Not much happened this weekend to speak of with the exception of purchasing 50 red bell peppers. About 40 of them were roasted, peeled, and frozen last night, and I can't wait to make a tasty soup out of them! Mmmmm, roasted red pepper soup...

Heheh, an Australian journalist was quoted on CNN.com as saying "chock-a-block." The day is looking up! Now if only half of my students would be absent...

chance and coincidence

I believe in coincidence and chance. Though I don’t completely abjure the possibility of design, I am much more amenable to the notion that life is a series of interconnected coincidences. I don’t pretend to be knowledgeable about philosophies, but I believe that this is nearest to Existentialism in the fundamental notion of life as a series of connected yet unrelated moments (if I’m wrong in this, please let me know). Actually, absurdism and inhumanism are the ideologies to which I am most attuned. The latter isn’t a recognized philosophy but is the word coined by Robinson Jeffers to describe his cynical and misanthropic perspective on human existence. I’ve mentioned this previously, so I’ll say no more.

The reason I begin this post with the mention of coincidence is because of the many coincidentals (not a word recognized by dictionary.com, but it’s probably been used before, and it fits my purpose more than “coincidences”) which have come together this week in meaningful ways. The first of the incidents was an argument into which I entered with a rather conservative (dare I say primitive?) Xian on another blog. The argument was about what I consider to be an asinine, chauvinistic, and immature attitude toward women, all from the perspective of a Xian male. It sickened me, to be frank. I grew up around and with a mindset similar to his, and it disgusted me to see it still being propagated by someone my age who I think should know better. I realize that some of my anger toward him actually comes from my frustration with the fact of how long it took me to come to my sense about the skewed reality of gender roles in Xianity.

The second incident was Wendie’s post about her epiphany. I can’t tell you how exciting and interesting it was for me to read the thoughts of a woman who had grown up in the same denomination/mentality that I had and who had been…liberated isn’t the right word, but I’ll use it. I know that I won’t do her post justice in her eyes, but I’m appropriating her post to my own needs, though I hope I’m not misinterpreting.

The third incident was a class discussion that Miah had about curriculum development. Education has historically been masculine in focus, and she told me about a rather poignant discussion which her class had about the effect of the inherent sexism on their psyches. What a male student would attribute to hard work and study a female student would attribute to luck. It’s a painful discussion to have, but it’s also an incredibly necessary one. If one of the people in a relationship (a heterosexual one) has a chauvinistic tendency, how can it be a true relationship of equals, and how healthy is a relationship of un-equals?

The final incident was an NPR piece I heard today that was discussing the nomination and approval of John Roberts as a Supreme Court justice. There are two schools of thought in justice: the originalists and the I-don’t-remember-the-termists. The former believe the Constitution should be interpreted within its own cultural context, while the latter believe it should be contemporized. It struck a chord with me in light of Wendie’s post concerning doctrinal interpretation.

All of these coincidentals came together in my mind and have stuck with me. Initially I was fascinated with the notion of gender conflict, but as I heard/saw more, it became quite apparent that it’s more about the past and the present. It amazes me that we are divided so much by time. Some live in the past, some in the present, and never the twain shall meet, it seems.

I can’t articulate myself, unfortunately, so I’ll turn back to my Erik’s the Red and return to this when I’ve more time to organize.

I wish the best to all.

Ph.D. for d?

I really want to get started on my doctorate. A few minutes of the afternoon were frittered away checking out the “ratings” of different grad programs around the nation, and then a few more were spent checking out virtual tours of campuses. I want to go to Alaska.

king of the hill

“The family Bible costs less than this, and it was written by Jesus!”

return

Nearly a week has gone without an update, and the last update could hardly be called that. It’s been a busy week at school, and I don’t want to be a teacher anymore. At a new teacher orientation in mid-August we were shown a graph that showed the “excitement about teaching” progress of a first-year teacher. The downward spiral begins sometime around the second week of school and bottoms out between December and March. I’ve hit bottom, I do believe, and if I haven’t, then I’m truly in for a depressing year.

I came across this site that makes me feel better about myself. I don’t have a drinking problem.

paradox

i spotted these two Glimpses while on a walk with maxx. one makes me laugh, the other makes me sad.

teaching is...

i'm not sure that i want to be a teacher any more. it's utterly exhausting to be a puppeteer for 7 hours a day, and the marrionettes rarely pause their mindless dances to look up and say "thank you." perhaps it's just because of the pedagogical theory that was thrust at me during the MA program, but i feel i'm being asked to entertain the students and trick them into learning. why should i have to trick someone into learning? i certainly agree with the currently popular notion that education should be connected to students' prior knowledge and interests, but let's face the fact that some information is just plain boring. the quadratic equation had no connection with my life then nor now, and i sincerely doubt that it will ever play a significant role in my future. now that i've jinxed myself by saying that who knows what will happen...

watched a wonderful movie tonight called Walk on Water. it's an Israeli movie that deals with the impact and horror of WWII in the most refreshing way i've seen in a long time. most movies that deal with WWII follow the now-cliched "human interest" aspect of the horrors, each film thinking that they're bringing a new perspective to the equation when all they're really doing is moving the camera one step to the right. for example, we also skim-watched Edges of the Lord, an uninspired story of a 12-year-old Haley Jewl Osment and other little "cute kid" actors. i'm amazed that it received a 7.1/10 from IMDB's users, though i shouldn't wonder if much of that is because of the content and not the quality. many people have a penchant for rating movies with tragic content more highly than the movie truly warrants. ah, well.

Walk on Water, by the way, had one of the best soundtracks i've heard for quite some time.

frustration

it's so frustrating when illegal means of obtaining music don't work out. i can only imagine the frustration that would be felt by someone trying to find "Strange World" by Ke, only to be foiled by said artist's complete lack of popularity and therefore total lack of web-presence. i'll bet that person would be pretty darn angry. yep, pretty goshdarn angry...

it's a beautiful day, and the poodle is shivering on my lap because he got a bath and is being a wimp! his best friend gets back from Spain today, but he doesn't know it!

to your right, please see the new mode of transportation for Maxx.

brilliant flash

this is so much more effective than those stupid "Truth" commercials!

robert parkeharrison

i caught the last five minutes of a special on this artist couple, then i lost track of them. StumbleUpon brought them back to me in an amazing coincidence. some people might say it was god, but i'm not sure he'd want the credit.

check out their gallery and current work; both have a few standout pieces.

The Excesses of God

The Excesses of God
Is it not by his high superfluousness we know
Our God? For to be equal a need
Is natural, animal, mineral: but to fling
Rainbows over the rain
And beauty above the moon, and secret rainbows
On the domes of deep sea-shells,
And make the necessary embrace of breeding
Beautiful also as fire,
Not even the weeds to multiply without blossom
Nor the birds without music:
There is the great humaneness at the heart of things,
The extravagant kindness, the fountain
Humanity can understand, and would flow likewise
If power and desire were perch-mates. (I: 4)

waves of yearning

While I'm posting tonnes of stuff, why not one more quote that I hadn't read in a while. This is also from the Document That Is No More, but this isn't the exact translation which I fell in love with.

Such longing upon longing came upon me
To be above, that at each step thereafter
For flight I felt in me the pinions growing.
The Divine Comedy, Purgatorio, Canto XXVII 121-123 (Trans. Henry Wadwsworth Longfellow)

The translation I love is something along the lines of "Such waves of yearning came upon me to attain the heights, that with each step I felt my wings growing" something flight. Beautiful and butchered.

So I just called a car place, and I think we're going to buy a car! I drove it around yesterday, and it was a dream compred to Mi's car (not saying a whole lot, of course)! Okay, she just called, and we are getting a car! I present to you the Malibu Maxx! Yes, the poodle reference was part of the decision....

I came across this quote earlier today:

Jeffers claims for his self-styled and controversial "inhumanist" perspective a mature superiority to the problematic humanism, or human chauvinism, which he sees dominating modern life: "An infant feels himself to be central and of primary importance; an adult knows better; it seems time that the human race attained to an adult habit of thought in this regard" (DA 172). In defining his notion of "inhumanism," Jeffers says: "It is based on a recognition of the astonishing beauty of things, and on a rational acceptance of the fact that mankind is neither central nor important in the universe; our vices and abilities are as insignificant as our happiness" (DA 172). Jeffers Studies Archive

The last sentence is the one which captured my rapture (what horrible rhyme) and most clearly describes my approach to humanity. There is an innate arrogance in all human endeavors, whether they be social, political, religious, personal, etc., and I cannot bring myself to accept that humans are the culmination of creation. Someone pointed out to me yesterday that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God," the paradigm essential to Christianity before all others. I agree that we're definitely messed up, but as a friend pointed out, who wants to aspire to the glory of God?


There's a quote by Alexander Pope that I had in a Word doc-collection of literary passages, a document which I've long since lost, which talked about the... Wow, I love Google and Wikipedia.

Pride still is aiming at the blest abodes,
Men would be angels, angels would be gods.
Aspiring to be gods, if angels fell,
Aspiring to be angels, men rebel:
And who but wishes to invert the laws
Of order, sins against the Eternal Cause.
Alexander Pope, "Essay On Man"

That really says it for me. The old adage is true:
someone really has already said it better.

i know nothing about the internet

Any idea of how to make this my profile pic?

AMENDMENT: how do i get it to be my profile pic w/o it being right on my site?

we have decided not to die

This is the coolest thing ever. Well, it’s neat, at least.

monday

i wonder if this long lapse between posts signals the beginning of the end for my blogging hobby.

i could not be less motivated today, nor could i feel worse. ESL is a program with little support, too many hoops, and piss-poor curriculum development. all of the books that i have that i'm looking at using are horrible beyond measure. it's as if the developers of these books think that a lack of proficiency in a language is synonymous with developmental handicaps. the illustrations are always juvenile, as the is the content. granted, some of my students aren't exactly the brightest, but that's largely because of sporadic schooling, not because of learning disabilities.

aargh. today is going to be a really bad day, and the week gets worse as it goes on. miah's leaving me on wednesday. aargh.

natural and supernatural

“Like so many men and nations who grow up with nature and the common things, he understood the supernatural before he understood the natural. He had looked at dim angels standing knee-deep in the grass before he had looked at the grass.” –Chesterton

This passage from the previously mentioned work by Chesterton illustrates beautifully what I believe is an enormous issue in contemporary religion/spirituality: the supernatural is more mundane than is the natural. We’re used to being religious, so we remain so. Instead of seeing nature and then wondering about its and our own origins, we learn about our origins and nature then “look at the grass.” It’s a brilliant way to perpetuate dogma!

why am i a teacher?

What is the difference between education and indoctrination? In an education system which values relativism, where is the line between true and other? Notice that I don't say "untrue," only "other," an important distinction, I believe. Wow. There were almost as many commas as there were words in that sentence...

the title to the blog is a hyperbolic version of a question i ask myself each morning. it does, however, contain an element of genuine introspection. i won't deny that i entered education out a selfish love of literature and a desire to educate the moronic hoi polloi concerning...what? much of what i feel students should learn/know is my own opinion, when it comes down to it. of course, i believe that i am enlightened (and that's not egoizing, it's human), but do i have the right to then push my ideology on others as fact?

Answer me, someone, because I'm quite curious.

it feels like sunday

I’m not much in the mood to write right now, but I did want to at least sit down for a few moments and let fly.

First of all, I’ve exported my Reader2 list and added it to the sidebar of my blog (a word which Word doesn’t recognize), so keep an eye on it as I list more of my own library and books that I would like to read. Also, if you have any recommendations, let me know and I’ll add them. I picked up two books from my bookshelf today, neither of which I had read for a while. The first, Chesterton’s The Ball and the Cross, was given to me by Laura Clow, a dear friend from Asbury with whom I have lost contact. I’d really love to find her again, but she’s married and is most likely out of my life forever. Rather sad, that. Anyway, the book is an odd allegory (there was just something about Asbury people and allegorists…) that has one cool line which I will post soon. The other book I picked up and spent considerably more time flipping through was Emily of New Moon. For those people who have a love affair with Anne of Green Gables, this book exceeds Anne’s cuteness and charm. Read it!

I also watched Layer Cake this morning, a fantastic gangster movie directed by the producer of Guy Ritchie’s only good movies. Layer Cake was really great, though I admit I had to use subtitles for some of it. Silly English.

There was something else I wanted to jot down… it’s gone. Oh, well.

Reading List

I think this is a great tool for keeping track of reading. I would love for anyone who visits this to join and let me know your info and your list.

who has time to do this?

I found links to some fun, food related vioeos on a friend's site. I send you first to The Ashram website, and you can follow his links.

civilization

i'm appalled that each time i check cnn.com (which has been regularly) there is something more heinous to report than before. now "gangs" of young men are raping women in the streets. just what the South needed to really bolster its image as the poophole of the US. i also wonder what sort of race-related studies will emerge from the countless images of African-American people looting. of course the mitigating SES will be overlooked by the average citizen in favor of a less enlightened (yes, pun intended) perspective.

this will not end happily.

try your own writing!

I’m not sure what I think of this Gender Genie. On the one hand, it definitely lends a certain credence to the many stereotypes that would inevitably have to be used to generate such a program, but on the other hand, there are undeniable psychological differences between the sexes.

You decide.

rob gonsalves

It would be criminal of me to not point friends to this wonderful artist’s site. I was browsing through my school’s graphic novels section and came across his book Imagine a Night, and I was so captivated by the art that I actually spent the better part of a class period reading it to my reading class.

news

i can't remember the last time i read good news.

Thomas Hardy... who?

i had a great bottle of beer tonight: Thomas Hardy Ale, a "rare, bottle conditioned ale" that has been sitting in the bottle for 25 years. i've never had a drink that was as old as me, nor as "mature." okay, the latter may not be quite accurate, but it couldn't be helped.

for those of you that have seen Sideways, drinking a drink as old as yourself (older, actually) is a unique experience that Virginia Madsen describes quite well and with great pathos. the beer itself is remarkable, though i've had beers that were 24 years younger and better (Goose Island's Bourbon County Stout is the first to mind), yet none had quite the same effect on me. first of all, i'd rarely paid $5 for a 10 oz. beer, so my mouth was respecting the dent that the beer put in my wallet. secondly, the "older than me" gave pause with each sip. lastly, the taste. i've never had such a creamy beer before. i had to let it sit for 48 hours to let the sediment settle before i poured it. when i finally did pour it, it came out in a gentle stream whose shape you could actually see. with most beer, the stream is a thin liquid that doesn't have a definite shape; it pulses and changes shapes, spilling into the glass more than flowing. the Hardy Ale was like pouring nectar into a glass; a beautiful stream of amber liquid poured slowly and deliberately from the bottle into the tipped glass. when i took the first sip, the beer didn't swill around in my mouth like water; it coated my palate like a fine wine does. it wasn't so thick that it was like drinking a latte. i can't describe it anymore than that. again, the taste was not one for which i would pay $5 again, but i am most glad that i have had it once.